EvolveC

Every morning, many of us wake up, go to work, pay bills, and repeat the cycle. We don’t think of the dreams we once had as children anymore. Why? They have been buried beneath the weight of responsibilities.    But here’s the question I would like us to consider: Are we truly living, or just paying bills?   1. The Survival Mode Society and our upbringing have conditioned us with the mindset: go to school, get a job, pay bills, retire, and you can hopefully live happily ever after. And then, adulthood sets in: piled-up bills, rents, and loans. The dreams we once had have slowly slipped into the background.   Research shows that this isn’t just a phase but a human experience. It isn’t limited by age. Whether you’re 22 or 54, the question remains: What happened to that dreamer inside us?   That dreamer may be quiet now, but they’re not gone. Life may have buried them under routines and responsibilities, but the spark is still there waiting to be reignited.   2. We Weren’t Born Just to Pay Bills There is more to life than our paychecks and even our to-do lists. I’ve realized I, too, have been living by that same script. I allowed the responsibilities of life to keep me in survival mode.   Those childhood dreams and visions we once held aren’t gone; they’re still there waiting to be reignited.   No, we don’t need to abandon everything to chase a dream. But we do need to move beyond survival mode if we want to truly start living.   So, where do we go from here?   3. We Can Still Find Our Way Back to What Matters We’ve been in survival mode for too long. It’s time to reconnect with what truly matters.   We can reconnect with our dreams and reignite the spark. Ask: What brings me joy beyond survival? What positive activity did I once enjoy but have stopped doing What’s one small step I can take toward that again?   Even small progress is powerful. Dedicating just a few minutes daily to what fuels you can shift everything.   Our dreams aren’t gone — they’re just quiet, waiting for us to listen again.   4. You’re Not Alone in This Responsibilities are real and can’t be denied. Many of us feel stuck, tired, and disconnected from what we truly want.   A few years ago, I found myself in that exact place, unfulfilled, disconnected, and merely existing. After deep reflections, I embarked on a journey of rediscovery.   As a child, I loved writing just for the fun of it. So I asked myself: Why not begin writing again? That’s how evolvingwithcheta was born.   Moment of Reflection Yes, responsibilities are real.But so is the part of us that truly longs to live, with passion, purpose, and meaning.   So… Start re-evaluating your life, and note what changes you need to make.  It’s time to stop going through the motions and start living beyond survival mode   The world requires us to embrace our lives fully, not merely exist.   Start Now. Start Small. Just Don’t Stop. You can share this with someone who might need to hear it. You never know who you might inspire to live again.   I would love to hear how this post resonated with you in the comments.

We all have that voice in our heads, yes, that one that tries to put you down and make you feel you aren’t doing enough. It often comes as a whisper telling you, “Don’t do it. You will mess things up. You’re not qualified. You are not beautiful. Why do you want to try?”   That voice is our inner critic, sometimes referred to as negative self-talk. This inner voice was shaped by our past experiences, upbringing, environment, cultural influences, and even misinterpreted feedback. It points out our flaws, reminds us of our past failures, and limitations. Often leaving us stuck in self-doubt and fear.    What Role Does Our Inner Critic Play?  Many of us grew up with constant criticism, verbal or physical abuse.  Parents, teachers, and mentors contributed to shaping our inner voice through their words and actions. As adults, we may have unconsciously internalized those experiences, believing they were our fault.    Our inner critic is supposed to protect us by trying to keep us safe from failure, rejection, and embarrassment. But in trying to protect us, it may have become the very thing that’s holding us back from growth, confidence, and success.   How to Turn Our Inner Critic into an Inner Ally I used to think my inner critic was my only voice of reason. I was stuck in my fears, self-doubt, and in constant criticism of my efforts. I didn’t think my efforts were good enough. I worried about so many things, even things that might never happen.    I sat down one day and told myself: Enough is enough! I will no longer let my inner critic dictate my life. I will try those things that I am afraid to do, and if I fail, I will learn. I will show up and go to those places that I fear going to. I will speak positively to myself and replace my negative self-talk with affirmations.   Here are the steps that helped me on my journey: 1. Recognize the Voice Start by naming the voice when it whispers. I call mine the “doubter” or the “perfectionist” each time it appears. This has helped me recognize the voice speaking, and immediately, I know what response to give.    2. Examine the Message Reframe any negative message with a more positive and supportive one. Instead of accepting the message that “I will fail at this, no need to try.” Say, “I am nervous about this, but I will give it my best shot no matter what.”   3. Practice Extending Grace To Yourself Treat yourself with love and compassion. Recognizing that mistakes are part of life will encourage you to keep trying. When you make a mistake, which everyone does, don’t let shame hold you down. Remind yourself that you are human. Over time, compassion will become a more reliable inner voice than criticism ever was.   4. Strengthen the Ally Whenever you notice your inner ally speaking positively to you, either by encouraging you or reminding you how well you are doing, pause and appreciate it. That will build a new default mode: one rooted in kindness and courage.   Gentle Reminder: Your Voice is Your Power Your inner critic may have made some decisions for you in the past, but now you have the power to change your future. Change how you speak to yourself. Be kind. Be supportive of yourself. Stop letting negative self-talk persist. Encourage yourself.    Start today, listen more closely. When the critic shows up, meet it with curiosity and courage. Remind yourself that you are no longer a child trying to survive, but an adult ready to thrive and evolve.   You don’t have to silence the voice. You just need to retrain it. Let your inner voice become your greatest ally—one that pushes you not through fear, but through belief.   Start now. Speak to yourself like someone who truly wants to win. Because you do and you will.   Let’s talk. What resonated with you from this piece? Kindly leave a comment. I would like to hear from you.