EvolveC

A mother’s embrace with her child highlights how to stay close to your children while you heal.

How to Stay Close to Your Children While You Heal

Leave a Comment / Family life /

I remember sitting at the dinner table with my children, smiling at their stories, while inside I felt completely drained. I was carrying the weight of grief and exhaustion, and part of me kept wondering, “How do I show up for them when I barely have anything left to give?”   Parenting is one of the most beautiful journeys, yet it’s also very demanding. We are expected to show up both when we are feeling good and when we aren’t.    What happens when we are trying to heal from grief, emotional burnout, or even past trauma? Honestly, it can be overwhelming and sometimes difficult.   Healing shouldn’t be about losing connection with our children, but an opportunity to deepen our bond.   Why Healing Helps You and Your Children We often feel guilty as parents when we take time for ourselves. We don’t want our children to see us tired or sad, so we put up a front. We sometimes worry that focusing on our healing takes something away from our relationship with them. This isn’t true; a healed, emotionally balanced parent creates a safer, healthier environment for children to thrive.    When parents prioritize their well-being, they model resilience and self-love for their children.   Honesty Builds Trust Honest communication fosters trust, which helps children recognize that everyone experiences emotion.    They don’t need all the details, but a simple, gentle explanation that parents need time to rest and recover is essential.   Stay Close Through Small Moments Healing takes time and can sometimes demand more from us, but creating small, intentional moments with our children will go a long way.   Shared meals, bedtime stories, or even hugs can maintain closeness. They are subtle reminders to our children that they matter to us even on our hardest days.    Making Healing a Family Journey Depending on their age, your children can be part of your healing journey. This may involve spending time together, going for walks, journaling, and practicing mindfulness.    Not only does this strengthen your connection, it also equips them with healthy coping tools they can carry into the future.   Embracing Parenting Without Perfection One of the most powerful lessons you can teach your children is that it’s okay to be human. You don’t need to have all the answers. Let them see you vulnerable sometimes; it teaches empathy and shows them that healing is a process, not a destination.   I remember one time my children saw me break down in tears after losing my brother. They hugged me tightly and whispered, “God is taking care of him now.” What a moment that was for me.   That day reminded me: vulnerability isn’t weakness, it’s a lesson in empathy and imperfection.   Final Thoughts Healing while raising children is never easy. Some days you’ll feel strong, and others you’ll feel like you’re just getting by. But in those imperfect moments, you’re modeling something priceless for your children: resilience, empathy, and love that doesn’t break under pressure.   Connection doesn’t come from being perfect; it comes from being present. Your healing matters, and so does your bond with your children.    With honesty, compassion, and small intentional moments, you can nurture both and deepen your relationship with your children.   If you’re walking through a season of healing, what’s one small way you’ve stayed close to your children?    Share your story in the comments; you never know who might be encouraged by your words.

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A woman sits on a park bench at sunset, reflecting on grief and the ache of when goodbye feels too soon.

When Goodbye Feels Too Soon: Coping with the Pain of Loss

2 Comments / Self-Love & Healing /

Whenever I hear the phrase “when goodbye feels too soon,” it didn’t use to make much sense to me until I experienced it myself. Loss came unexpectedly for me in a way that I didn’t see coming, and it left me shattered.  There were no signals or warnings. I didn’t get to prepare for it. All I felt was silence in a room that used to be filled with laughter. I felt the heaviness I didn’t know how to carry. Grief became the shadow that followed me everywhere. It appeared in my quiet moments, in songs that evoked memories and in images of the person I cherished. When Goodbye Feels Too Soon: Learning how to Grieve At first, I assumed I could cope by immersing myself in work to prevent it from consuming me. I felt I could distract myself, avoiding the space to feel. But grief will always demand something of you.  The pain knocked on my heart in unexpected ways, sometimes with uncontrollable tears, sometimes with numbness, and other times with anger. I have realized that to move forward, I must stop resisting my feelings. When saying goodbye feels too soon, there is no right way to grieve; there is only your way. For me, this means I need to create space to grieve. Some days, I manage to carry the weight better than others, and that’s still okay. Carrying Love Forward  Grief isn’t about the endings, but it’s also about healing. It’s a journey of experiencing love in its different forms. The love I thought I lost didn’t disappear; it simply shifted into new forms. I have chosen to honor this love in small ways by keeping photographs close and sharing stories to keep memories alive. There are days I whisper their name into the silence, reminding myself that love didn’t vanish with their absence. Carrying love forward is my way of coping with loss. Knowing that, regardless of how I feel, the love we once shared remains. What This Journey has Taught Me About Healing If there is one thing that I have learned on this journey, it is that even when goodbye feels too soon, healing isn’t about finding closure. It’s about finding ways to keep living.  It’s about learning to live with the ache while allowing love to guide my steps forward. I won’t pretend that I am always okay.  Some days, the ache still feels sharp. But I’ve learned to let grief and love coexist, side by side. To allow myself to feel the love and let it shine brighter than the pain.  Final Reflection: When Goodbye Feels Too Soon If you’re walking through this journey like I am, I want you to know this: you are not alone. The path may feel lonely, but knowing countless hearts have walked this journey too is an assurance that you will be fine. For me, grief will always be a part of my story, but so will love. And even when the goodbye felt unbearably early, the love I carry forward will become my reminder that some connections never truly end.  Goodbyes may come too soon, but love endures.

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A happy family embracing outdoors at sunset, symbolizing that life is fragile and we should cherish every moment with loved ones.

Life Is Fragile: Cherish Every Moment With Loved Ones

6 Comments / Family life /

I have often wondered why people die. Life is indeed unpredictable and fragile. One minute, you are having a good time with someone, laughing and even making plans for the future. The next moment, you receive a call that he/she is gone.   The hard truth is that life is fragile, and cherishing every moment with those we love is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others.   Why Life is so Fragile We often live our lives with the belief that we have all the time in the world. The saying “tomorrow isn’t promised” never truly made sense to me until recently, when I lost my brother. I had spoken with him that very morning, not knowing it would be the last time. By the end of the day, he was gone. The shock left me devastated and heartbroken, and it reminded me in the most painful way that life can change in an instant.   That experience made me realize how often we take our days and loved ones for granted. We assume there will always be another conversation, another hug, another chance to say “I love you.” But the truth is, none of us knows how much time we really have. And that is why it’s so important to live with intention, presence, and gratitude.   Ways to Cherish Every Moment With Loved Ones One regret many people share at the end of life is that they didn’t spend enough time with their loved ones. Life is fragile; cherish every moment with loved ones. Through shared laughter, hugs, small moments of connection, and conversations, we build memories that warm our hearts.   A few ways to cherish our loved ones today are; Be present. When spending time with loved ones, give your full attention. Say “I love you.” Don’t assume they know—say it often, not just occasionally. Show gratitude. Express thankfulness both in words and actions. Create memories. Stop postponing joy. Write that book, take that trip, capture photos, and live intentionally. Connection Breeds Healing Life can sometimes feel overwhelming; in those moments, relationships serve as a source of stability and comfort, acting as anchors. Some simple acts of kindness, a reassuring hug, or a heartfelt conversation can heal wounds we didn’t even realize were there. Cherishing loved ones doesn’t just benefit them—it strengthens us, too.   A Gentle Reminder Life is fleeting; don’t wait for a wake-up call to realize how fragile life is. Make those calls you have been postponing. Hug your children. Text your family and friends. Forgive where you can. Appreciate the now. Tomorrow is uncertain, but today is yours to treasure.   Reflection Life is fragile, but beautiful. Every hug we share, every smile, and every act of kindness create lasting memories. Cherish today, it’s where real joy begins.

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A lit candle surrounded by blooming flowers in the dark, symbolizing grief and remembrance — Grieving the Loss of a Loved One: How to Cope and Heal.

Grieving the Loss of a Loved One: How to Cope and Heal

Leave a Comment / Self-Love & Healing /

No one prepares us for grief. It shows up without warning and takes everything we know away.    When we find ourselves in the middle of grief, we feel the weight of pain and emptiness crushing in on us.    Life is indeed fragile! One moment we are here, the next, we are gone.    When I lost my younger brother, Amaechi, my world came crashing down. I haven’t felt okay since then. I didn’t get to say goodbye or give him one last hug. This hurts even more.   He was one of my strongest support systems. He would always remind me of who I am, even when I forgot. How do I heal from this? How do I accept that I won’t see him physically anymore?    Amaechi was a modest person with a lot of love to give. He would laugh and encourage you. He would hide his pain to soothe yours. He had so much goodness to share. I have tried to stay strong, but found myself trembling and crying myself to sleep most nights.    How Do People Heal After Losing A Loved One?  This is a question that begs for an answer.  They say, “Time heals all wounds,” but it’s not entirely true. It’s not time that heals-it’s allowing yourself to go through the process of healing.    Going through this process won’t be an easy journey, obviously, but it’s a necessity.    Cry if you have to. Scream when you want to. Take time for yourself whenever you feel the need to. Healing is personal.    Please Don’t Tell People Grieving to Move on  Telling people who are grieving to move on is deeply hurtful. You don’t have to say anything when words fail.    Losing a loved one isn’t like losing an item. Allowing people to grieve is a great way to help them process their pain.    Sometimes silence says the most. Just sitting and holding their hands will make them feel a lot better.    Why Sharing Stories of Loved Ones Helps Us Heal  We all have stories and cherished memories of those we’ve lost. Sharing their stories helps with the healing process.    Since my brother died, I have been talking about him. Letting others know him as I did.    He was a fun, easy-going person. Full of life and vigour. Very thoughtful and mindful of everyone.    My brother was a meticulous individual. I often bragged about his passion for numbers and his ability to write great reports. He loves to write extensively and strongly believes in the value of hard work.    Growing up with him and knowing we shared lots of memories has been helping to soothe my pain. He was a brother who would defend you no matter the circumstances.   When he loves, he loves deeply. He is always appreciative of even the tiniest things done for him.    Amaechi was a family man to the core! He knows how to nurture friendships and show up for people. During his funeral, everyone who attended kept saying, he always shows up!    Final Thoughts: It’s Okay Not To Be Okay while Grieving  Losing a loved one is painful. You don’t have to heal overnight — take your time and process your loss. Share their stories and memories. Allowing people to tell you to “just move on” is wrong. You are allowed to cry, to grieve, and to feel the depth of your pain.   Only you can truly understand your grief. Allow yourself permission to heal at your own pace.   Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. Show love and kindness to people, especially those who matter to you. Let them know how much they mean to you while you still have the chance.   For those grieving right now, please remember: you are not alone. If you feel ready, share the name and story of your loved one in the comments below so we can honor them together and keep their memory alive.

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Sunrise over a peaceful valley with misty mountains in the distance, symbolizing hope and new beginnings — a visual reflection of Starting Again When You Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore.

Starting Again When You Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore

2 Comments / Growth Mindset /

Many of us are at the point in our lives where we are trying to make sense of its meaning. We keep asking, is this all there is to life? You are not alone.   Facing challenges is part of life, but how we choose to respond to them makes the difference. We face emotional, spiritual, and financial barriers daily that often lead us to question everything around us. The choices we make, the roles we occupy, and our identities can sometimes become unclear.   The Power of Reflection There are moments in our lives when we need to pause and evaluate where we are. I call this taking stock, just like businesses do when they assess their inventory and operations. When we treat our lives the way entrepreneurs evaluate a company, we begin to see clearly: What’s working? What’s draining us? What needs to change? This mindset encourages us to reflect and take charge of our lives. We don’t need to have all the answers, but we need to be honest with ourselves and be open to growth.    When Life Hits You at the Core Life rarely goes as planned. It can hit us unexpectedly, bringing grief, disappointment, failure, or loss. These can make us feel hopeless.   The quote Tough Times Don’t Last, But Tough People Do” by Robert Schuller reminds us that resilience isn’t about never falling, it’s about choosing to get up.  I recall reading this book many years ago when I was a teenager. The message hits differently now as an adult.   You’re Allowed to Begin Again Starting over doesn’t mean discarding everything from the past. No, it means building on the lessons learned through trials and triumphs.   As George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”   You don’t need to have all the answers, and that is fine. The question should be: Are you willing to look inwards and move forward? Responding honestly to this question can bring you clarity.   Replaying our struggles for sympathy will cause us more grief. We owe it to ourselves to rewrite our stories by discovering our passions, rebuilding our identity, and resetting our goals with purpose and courage.   Each day presents us with a chance to move closer to the life we desire. You don’t have to do it all at once; take small steps. Start with honesty, kindness to yourself, and a willingness to embrace uncertainty.   Act Now: Embrace Your Fresh Start Today I would like to share some simple steps that have helped me on my journey.   Take 10 minutes today to write down these three things: What is one thing in your life that no longer benefits you? What is one change you could make towards something more productive? What is one thing you have discovered about yourself that you want to nurture more? This simple exercise will help bring clarity of purpose.   Remember, we don’t do life alone; we need support. Reach out to a trusted friend for accountability or get yourself a mentor. Your new beginning is waiting. Let’s take that first step, one day at a time.   If this resonates with you, please take a moment to share in the comments: What’s one thing you’re ready to let go of, or one small step you’re willing to take toward a fresh start?   Your words might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.

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Cover of the book “Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone” by Brené Brown

Braving the Wilderness: Lessons in Belonging and Courage

Leave a Comment / Book Recommendation for personal growth /

I just finished reading Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown, and I can’t help but share my lessons from this amazing book.    This isn’t just another self‑help book but an invitation to stand out in who we are, especially in a world that believes that you must belong somewhere to fit in.    Here’s my review of the book:   Belonging vs. Fitting In Brené writes about an important truth: fitting in expects us to shrink and mute ourselves, while belonging asks us to show up as we truly are, even if that means standing alone.   I am also reminded that I don’t have to shrink to fit in. I don’t need to conform to roles or expectations that dimmed my joy.   Brown’s words speak about authenticity and why belonging is more important than fitting in.   Speak Truth with Integrity Courage doesn’t need you to be loud or aggressive. It’s about kindness wrapped in honesty. Brown speaks of “speaking truth without losing civility.  I learned that holding firm to my values doesn’t mean I must burn bridges. We can stand our ground and lead with compassion.   Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart This phrase is a new mantra for me. A strong back grounded in values, a soft front open to connection, and a wild heart free to belong fully to self and life. It’s a reminder that resilience isn’t about toughness, but rather tender courage.   Why I Recommend This Book We are navigating a world that seeks connection. This book, Braving the Wilderness, gives an honest and relatable approach to human interactions through research and real-life experiences.    My Recommendation Braving the Wilderness asks us to walk the path of authenticity, compassion, and rooted courage. It reminds us that true belonging comes from being authentic and risking vulnerability.   As we grow personally, in our families, and in this community, we can do so with courage, grace, and an ever-evolving self. If we’re ready to embrace belonging on our terms, this book is a trustworthy companion.   Have you read this book yet? What moment stood out for you? I’d love to hear your reflections below.

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A striking match bursts with sparks symbolizing the moment we reignite our passion and break free from survival mode to live with purpose.

Are We Living or Just Paying Bills? A Question Worth Asking

3 Comments / Empowered Living /

Every morning, many of us wake up, go to work, pay bills, and repeat the cycle. We don’t think of the dreams we once had as children anymore. Why? They have been buried beneath the weight of responsibilities.    But here’s the question I would like us to consider: Are we truly living, or just paying bills?   1. The Survival Mode Society and our upbringing have conditioned us with the mindset: go to school, get a job, pay bills, retire, and you can hopefully live happily ever after. And then, adulthood sets in: piled-up bills, rents, and loans. The dreams we once had have slowly slipped into the background.   Research shows that this isn’t just a phase but a human experience. It isn’t limited by age. Whether you’re 22 or 54, the question remains: What happened to that dreamer inside us?   That dreamer may be quiet now, but they’re not gone. Life may have buried them under routines and responsibilities, but the spark is still there waiting to be reignited.   2. We Weren’t Born Just to Pay Bills There is more to life than our paychecks and even our to-do lists. I’ve realized I, too, have been living by that same script. I allowed the responsibilities of life to keep me in survival mode.   Those childhood dreams and visions we once held aren’t gone; they’re still there waiting to be reignited.   No, we don’t need to abandon everything to chase a dream. But we do need to move beyond survival mode if we want to truly start living.   So, where do we go from here?   3. We Can Still Find Our Way Back to What Matters We’ve been in survival mode for too long. It’s time to reconnect with what truly matters.   We can reconnect with our dreams and reignite the spark. Ask: What brings me joy beyond survival? What positive activity did I once enjoy but have stopped doing What’s one small step I can take toward that again?   Even small progress is powerful. Dedicating just a few minutes daily to what fuels you can shift everything.   Our dreams aren’t gone — they’re just quiet, waiting for us to listen again.   4. You’re Not Alone in This Responsibilities are real and can’t be denied. Many of us feel stuck, tired, and disconnected from what we truly want.   A few years ago, I found myself in that exact place, unfulfilled, disconnected, and merely existing. After deep reflections, I embarked on a journey of rediscovery.   As a child, I loved writing just for the fun of it. So I asked myself: Why not begin writing again? That’s how evolvingwithcheta was born.   Moment of Reflection Yes, responsibilities are real.But so is the part of us that truly longs to live, with passion, purpose, and meaning.   So… Start re-evaluating your life, and note what changes you need to make.  It’s time to stop going through the motions and start living beyond survival mode   The world requires us to embrace our lives fully, not merely exist.   Start Now. Start Small. Just Don’t Stop. You can share this with someone who might need to hear it. You never know who you might inspire to live again.   I would love to hear how this post resonated with you in the comments.

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Turn your inner critic into an inner ally with affirmations like 'I am enough,' 'I am confident,' and 'I am learning' on colorful sticky notes.

Turn Your Inner Critic into an Inner Ally

2 Comments / Empowered Living /

We all have that voice in our heads, yes, that one that tries to put you down and make you feel you aren’t doing enough. It often comes as a whisper telling you, “Don’t do it. You will mess things up. You’re not qualified. You are not beautiful. Why do you want to try?”   That voice is our inner critic, sometimes referred to as negative self-talk. This inner voice was shaped by our past experiences, upbringing, environment, cultural influences, and even misinterpreted feedback. It points out our flaws, reminds us of our past failures, and limitations. Often leaving us stuck in self-doubt and fear.    What Role Does Our Inner Critic Play?  Many of us grew up with constant criticism, verbal or physical abuse.  Parents, teachers, and mentors contributed to shaping our inner voice through their words and actions. As adults, we may have unconsciously internalized those experiences, believing they were our fault.    Our inner critic is supposed to protect us by trying to keep us safe from failure, rejection, and embarrassment. But in trying to protect us, it may have become the very thing that’s holding us back from growth, confidence, and success.   How to Turn Our Inner Critic into an Inner Ally I used to think my inner critic was my only voice of reason. I was stuck in my fears, self-doubt, and in constant criticism of my efforts. I didn’t think my efforts were good enough. I worried about so many things, even things that might never happen.    I sat down one day and told myself: Enough is enough! I will no longer let my inner critic dictate my life. I will try those things that I am afraid to do, and if I fail, I will learn. I will show up and go to those places that I fear going to. I will speak positively to myself and replace my negative self-talk with affirmations.   Here are the steps that helped me on my journey: 1. Recognize the Voice Start by naming the voice when it whispers. I call mine the “doubter” or the “perfectionist” each time it appears. This has helped me recognize the voice speaking, and immediately, I know what response to give.    2. Examine the Message Reframe any negative message with a more positive and supportive one. Instead of accepting the message that “I will fail at this, no need to try.” Say, “I am nervous about this, but I will give it my best shot no matter what.”   3. Practice Extending Grace To Yourself Treat yourself with love and compassion. Recognizing that mistakes are part of life will encourage you to keep trying. When you make a mistake, which everyone does, don’t let shame hold you down. Remind yourself that you are human. Over time, compassion will become a more reliable inner voice than criticism ever was.   4. Strengthen the Ally Whenever you notice your inner ally speaking positively to you, either by encouraging you or reminding you how well you are doing, pause and appreciate it. That will build a new default mode: one rooted in kindness and courage.   Gentle Reminder: Your Voice is Your Power Your inner critic may have made some decisions for you in the past, but now you have the power to change your future. Change how you speak to yourself. Be kind. Be supportive of yourself. Stop letting negative self-talk persist. Encourage yourself.    Start today, listen more closely. When the critic shows up, meet it with curiosity and courage. Remind yourself that you are no longer a child trying to survive, but an adult ready to thrive and evolve.   You don’t have to silence the voice. You just need to retrain it. Let your inner voice become your greatest ally—one that pushes you not through fear, but through belief.   Start now. Speak to yourself like someone who truly wants to win. Because you do and you will.   Let’s talk. What resonated with you from this piece? Kindly leave a comment. I would like to hear from you.

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Mother and young son having a meaningful conversation outside their home — an illustration of how to be a present parent in a world full of distractions

How to Be a Present Parent in a World Full of Distractions

6 Comments / Family life /

Raising children in today’s world is becoming more challenging than it was years ago. With the constant buzzing of phones, emails, to-do lists, and social media feeds, it’s easy to be physically present but emotionally absent.   However, our children need more than just our presence; they require our attention to grow into balanced, emotionally healthy adults.   Why Being a Present Parent is important Research has shown that children thrive emotionally, socially, and intellectually when their parents are available to them. Presence builds trust, improves healthy communication, and fosters secure attachment.  When children feel seen, heard, and valued, their confidence grows.   “It’s easy to say, ‘I am working hard for them. I provide their needs.” Yes, while all of these are true, being present matters just as much as providing.   Practical Ways to Be a More Present Parent   1. Practice Active Listening. It’s not enough to say we’re listening to our children while we are scrolling on our phones or multitasking. Children don’t just hear our words; they feel our attention.   My daughter once said to me, “Mum, I’m not talking again because you’re not listening.” The truth is, I was present but wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying. I was caught in the moment, and even though I apologised,  I’ve never forgotten that scenario.   Active listening means:  Making eye contact Putting away your phone or laptop Responding or repeating what they’ve said These small actions help children feel valued, understood, and respected.   2. Establish Daily Family Rituals  Simple, consistent routines give children a sense of emotional safety. Things like: Morning hugs After-school chats Bedtime stories These are the moments your children will remember and cherish for years to come.   3. Manage Your Stress Many of us are juggling numerous responsibilities, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But stress can prevent us from showing up fully.   In moments of stress or when you’re feeling triggered, take a moment to pause and breathe before responding. A calm parent creates a calm environment.   When we learn to regulate ourselves, we teach our children to do the same.   4. Set boundaries with Technology. Distractions are everywhere, especially on our devices. One habit I’ve found helpful is to put my phone away during meals and bedtime.   It sends a simple but powerful message: “You matter more than my screen.”   5. Participate in playtime. Play is how children process emotions and build bonds. Even just a few minutes of engaged play can make a lasting difference. Try: Colouring together Building puzzles Role-play or storytelling Your presence during play shows your child that you enjoy spending time with them.   6. Extend Grace to Yourself.  You won’t get it perfect every day, and that’s okay. Life happens. What matters most is your intention. Some days, you’ll miss the mark. But by being aware and making the effort, you’re already doing something powerful.   Parenting is not about perfection. It’s about presence.   A Heartfelt Reminder In a world that constantly demands our attention, choosing to be a present parent is a powerful act of love.  It requires awareness, effort, and sacrifice.   Our children won’t remember every toy or how clean the house was. They’ll remember how we made them feel safe, loved, and important. And that feeling far outweighs anything money can buy.   Our presence is the most valuable gift we can give and the one they’ll carry with them for life.   What’s one small way you’re choosing to be more present today? Share in the comments below or with someone who needs this reminder.

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A road sign with the inscription; your journey, your time describing that life isn't a race.

Feeling Behind in Life? Embrace Your Season and Pace

2 Comments / Growth Mindset /

We live in a world that constantly confronts us with reels of other people who seem to be making it or have made it in life. We hear phrases like “hustle,” “grind,” and “push.” As inspiring as all these may sound, have we stopped to ask, what season of life am I in at the moment?   There is no excuse for not working hard, but if the aim is to compare yourself with other people’s achievements, you will lose your focus. Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 explains this clearly. There is a time and a season for everything. Embracing your season will make all the difference.   Life Isn’t a Race—It’s a Journey I believe that life is not a race, but a journey. A teacher once told me, “Don’t work with someone else’s time cos you’ll be miserable.” This advice was given to me many years ago, and it remains one of the best I have received. Someone will always reach their goals before you do, and that’s perfectly okay. There will be someone living your dream, that’s fine. “Life is in stages and men in sizes”….Bishop David Oyedepo. This quote rings a bell in my head each time comparison wants to set in.   Do we sometimes want to compare? Yes! It is in our human nature to want to compare or prove something to someone else. I am here to remind you that comparison will steal your joy and stunt your growth.    How to stop comparing yourself to others 1. Stop apologizing for making progress. You don’t need permission to grow, but you need willingness. Your journey is yours alone.      2. Celebrate Your Wins (Big or Small) Did you make a tough decision today? Did you acquire a new skill? That is a win.   3. Trust the Process It might not seem like it now, but trust the process. Time and chance happen to them all, Ecclesiastes 9:11.   4. Mute (Unfollow)  What Drains You Many of us scroll through social media nonstop, which is draining. When you compare, you lose your willpower and the motivation to keep moving.   5. Slow Progress Is Still Progress A flower doesn’t bloom faster because you watch it. Growth takes time. Remember: those seemingly insignificant positive steps, when consistently repeated, lead to substantial change and growth.   You’re Right Where You Need to Be Some people bloom early. Some bloom late. While some are like wildflowers that grow in unexpected places. Your path is unique, and your pace is valid.    The world needs your story—not a rushed version, but the real, unfolding, imperfectly beautiful one. So take a deep breath. Trust your timing. Your season will have its moment.   What’s one thing you’re learning in your current season? Share it in the comments—your story could be the encouragement someone else needs today. If this resonated with you, consider sharing it with a friend who’s been feeling behind, too.

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