EvolveC, Author at Evolving with Cheta

A striking match bursts with sparks symbolizing the moment we reignite our passion and break free from survival mode to live with purpose.

Are We Living or Just Paying Bills? A Question Worth Asking

Every morning, many of us wake up, go to work, pay bills, and repeat the cycle. We don’t think of the dreams we once had as children anymore. Why? They have been buried beneath the weight of responsibilities. But here’s the question I would like us to consider: Are we truly living, or just paying bills? 1. The Survival Mode Society and our upbringing have conditioned us with the mindset: go to school, get a job, pay bills, retire, and you can hopefully live happily ever after. And then, adulthood sets in: piled-up bills, rents, and loans. The dreams we once had have slowly slipped into the background. Research shows that this isn’t just a phase but a human experience. It isn’t limited by age. Whether you’re 22 or 54, the question remains: What happened to that dreamer inside us? That dreamer may be quiet now, but they’re not gone. Life may have buried them under routines and responsibilities, but the spark is still there waiting to be reignited. 2. We Weren’t Born Just to Pay Bills There is more to life than our paychecks and even our to-do lists. I’ve realized I, too, have been living by that same script. I allowed the responsibilities of life to keep me in survival mode. Those childhood dreams and visions we once held aren’t gone; they’re still there waiting to be reignited. No, we don’t need to abandon everything to chase a dream. But we do need to move beyond survival mode if we want to truly start living. So, where do we go from here? 3. We Can Still Find Our Way Back to What Matters We’ve been in survival mode for too long. It’s time to reconnect with what truly matters. We can reconnect with our dreams and reignite the spark. Ask: What brings me joy beyond survival? What positive activity did I once enjoy but have stopped doing What’s one small step I can take toward that again? Even small progress is powerful. Dedicating just a few minutes daily to what fuels you can shift everything. Our dreams aren’t gone — they’re just quiet, waiting for us to listen again. 4. You’re Not Alone in This Responsibilities are real and can’t be denied. Many of us feel stuck, tired, and disconnected from what we truly want. A few years ago, I found myself in that exact place, unfulfilled, disconnected, and merely existing. After deep reflections, I embarked on a journey of rediscovery. As a child, I loved writing just for the fun of it. So I asked myself: Why not begin writing again? That’s how evolvingwithcheta was born. Moment of Reflection Yes, responsibilities are real.But so is the part of us that truly longs to live, with passion, purpose, and meaning. So… Start re-evaluating your life, and note what changes you need to make. It’s time to stop going through the motions and start living beyond survival mode The world requires us to embrace our lives fully, not merely exist. Start Now. Start Small. Just Don’t Stop. You can share this with someone who might need to hear it. You never know who you might inspire to live again. I would love to hear how this post resonated with you in the comments.

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Turn Your Inner Critic into an Inner Ally

2 Comments / Empowered Living / EvolveC

We all have that voice in our heads, yes, that one that tries to put you down and make you feel you aren’t doing enough. It often comes as a whisper telling you, “Don’t do it. You will mess things up. You’re not qualified. You are not beautiful. Why do you want to try?” That voice is our inner critic, sometimes referred to as negative self-talk. This inner voice was shaped by our past experiences, upbringing, environment, cultural influences, and even misinterpreted feedback. It points out our flaws, reminds us of our past failures, and limitations. Often leaving us stuck in self-doubt and fear. What Role Does Our Inner Critic Play? Many of us grew up with constant criticism, verbal or physical abuse. Parents, teachers, and mentors contributed to shaping our inner voice through their words and actions. As adults, we may have unconsciously internalized those experiences, believing they were our fault. Our inner critic is supposed to protect us by trying to keep us safe from failure, rejection, and embarrassment. But in trying to protect us, it may have become the very thing that’s holding us back from growth, confidence, and success. How to Turn Our Inner Critic into an Inner Ally I used to think my inner critic was my only voice of reason. I was stuck in my fears, self-doubt, and in constant criticism of my efforts. I didn’t think my efforts were good enough. I worried about so many things, even things that might never happen. I sat down one day and told myself: Enough is enough! I will no longer let my inner critic dictate my life. I will try those things that I am afraid to do, and if I fail, I will learn. I will show up and go to those places that I fear going to. I will speak positively to myself and replace my negative self-talk with affirmations. Here are the steps that helped me on my journey: 1. Recognize the Voice Start by naming the voice when it whispers. I call mine the “doubter” or the “perfectionist” each time it appears. This has helped me recognize the voice speaking, and immediately, I know what response to give. 2. Examine the Message Reframe any negative message with a more positive and supportive one. Instead of accepting the message that “I will fail at this, no need to try.” Say, “I am nervous about this, but I will give it my best shot no matter what.” 3. Practice Extending Grace To Yourself Treat yourself with love and compassion. Recognizing that mistakes are part of life will encourage you to keep trying. When you make a mistake, which everyone does, don’t let shame hold you down. Remind yourself that you are human. Over time, compassion will become a more reliable inner voice than criticism ever was. 4. Strengthen the Ally Whenever you notice your inner ally speaking positively to you, either by encouraging you or reminding you how well you are doing, pause and appreciate it. That will build a new default mode: one rooted in kindness and courage. Gentle Reminder: Your Voice is Your Power Your inner critic may have made some decisions for you in the past, but now you have the power to change your future. Change how you speak to yourself. Be kind. Be supportive of yourself. Stop letting negative self-talk persist. Encourage yourself. Start today, listen more closely. When the critic shows up, meet it with curiosity and courage. Remind yourself that you are no longer a child trying to survive, but an adult ready to thrive and evolve. You don’t have to silence the voice. You just need to retrain it. Let your inner voice become your greatest ally—one that pushes you not through fear, but through belief. Start now. Speak to yourself like someone who truly wants to win. Because you do and you will. Let’s talk. What resonated with you from this piece? Kindly leave a comment. I would like to hear from you.

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Mother and young son having a meaningful conversation outside their home — an illustration of how to be a present parent in a world full of distractions

How to Be a Present Parent in a World Full of Distractions

6 Comments / Family life / EvolveC

Raising children in today’s world is becoming more challenging than it was years ago. With the constant buzzing of phones, emails, to-do lists, and social media feeds, it’s easy to be physically present but emotionally absent. However, our children need more than just our presence; they require our attention to grow into balanced, emotionally healthy adults. Why Being a Present Parent is important Research has shown that children thrive emotionally, socially, and intellectually when their parents are available to them. Presence builds trust, improves healthy communication, and fosters secure attachment. When children feel seen, heard, and valued, their confidence grows. “It’s easy to say, ‘I am working hard for them. I provide their needs.” Yes, while all of these are true, being present matters just as much as providing. Practical Ways to Be a More Present Parent 1. Practice Active Listening. It’s not enough to say we’re listening to our children while we are scrolling on our phones or multitasking. Children don’t just hear our words; they feel our attention. My daughter once said to me, “Mum, I’m not talking again because you’re not listening.” The truth is, I was present but wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying. I was caught in the moment, and even though I apologised, I’ve never forgotten that scenario. Active listening means: Making eye contact Putting away your phone or laptop Responding or repeating what they’ve said These small actions help children feel valued, understood, and respected. 2. Establish Daily Family Rituals Simple, consistent routines give children a sense of emotional safety. Things like: Morning hugs After-school chats Bedtime stories These are the moments your children will remember and cherish for years to come. 3. Manage Your Stress Many of us are juggling numerous responsibilities, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But stress can prevent us from showing up fully. In moments of stress or when you’re feeling triggered, take a moment to pause and breathe before responding. A calm parent creates a calm environment. When we learn to regulate ourselves, we teach our children to do the same. 4. Set boundaries with Technology. Distractions are everywhere, especially on our devices. One habit I’ve found helpful is to put my phone away during meals and bedtime. It sends a simple but powerful message: “You matter more than my screen.” 5. Participate in playtime. Play is how children process emotions and build bonds. Even just a few minutes of engaged play can make a lasting difference. Try: Colouring together Building puzzles Role-play or storytelling Your presence during play shows your child that you enjoy spending time with them. 6. Extend Grace to Yourself. You won’t get it perfect every day, and that’s okay. Life happens. What matters most is your intention. Some days, you’ll miss the mark. But by being aware and making the effort, you’re already doing something powerful. Parenting is not about perfection. It’s about presence. A Heartfelt Reminder In a world that constantly demands our attention, choosing to be a present parent is a powerful act of love. It requires awareness, effort, and sacrifice. Our children won’t remember every toy or how clean the house was. They’ll remember how we made them feel safe, loved, and important. And that feeling far outweighs anything money can buy. Our presence is the most valuable gift we can give and the one they’ll carry with them for life. What’s one small way you’re choosing to be more present today? Share in the comments below or with someone who needs this reminder.

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A road sign with the inscription; your journey, your time describing that life isn't a race.

Feeling Behind in Life? Embrace Your Season and Pace

2 Comments / Growth Mindset / EvolveC

We live in a world that constantly confronts us with reels of other people who seem to be making it or have made it in life. We hear phrases like “hustle,” “grind,” and “push.” As inspiring as all these may sound, have we stopped to ask, what season of life am I in at the moment? There is no excuse for not working hard, but if the aim is to compare yourself with other people’s achievements, you will lose your focus. Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 explains this clearly. There is a time and a season for everything. Embracing your season will make all the difference. Life Isn’t a Race—It’s a Journey I believe that life is not a race, but a journey. A teacher once told me, “Don’t work with someone else’s time cos you’ll be miserable.” This advice was given to me many years ago, and it remains one of the best I have received. Someone will always reach their goals before you do, and that’s perfectly okay. There will be someone living your dream, that’s fine. “Life is in stages and men in sizes”….Bishop David Oyedepo. This quote rings a bell in my head each time comparison wants to set in. Do we sometimes want to compare? Yes! It is in our human nature to want to compare or prove something to someone else. I am here to remind you that comparison will steal your joy and stunt your growth. How to stop comparing yourself to others 1. Stop apologizing for making progress. You don’t need permission to grow, but you need willingness. Your journey is yours alone. 2. Celebrate Your Wins (Big or Small) Did you make a tough decision today? Did you acquire a new skill? That is a win. 3. Trust the Process It might not seem like it now, but trust the process. Time and chance happen to them all, Ecclesiastes 9:11. 4. Mute (Unfollow) What Drains You Many of us scroll through social media nonstop, which is draining. When you compare, you lose your willpower and the motivation to keep moving. 5. Slow Progress Is Still Progress A flower doesn’t bloom faster because you watch it. Growth takes time. Remember: those seemingly insignificant positive steps, when consistently repeated, lead to substantial change and growth. You’re Right Where You Need to Be Some people bloom early. Some bloom late. While some are like wildflowers that grow in unexpected places. Your path is unique, and your pace is valid. The world needs your story—not a rushed version, but the real, unfolding, imperfectly beautiful one. So take a deep breath. Trust your timing. Your season will have its moment. What’s one thing you’re learning in your current season? Share it in the comments—your story could be the encouragement someone else needs today. If this resonated with you, consider sharing it with a friend who’s been feeling behind, too.

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A black woman relaxing on a chair reading a book sigifying resting isn't quitting.

Resting Isn’t Quitting: It’s How We Heal

6 Comments / Self-Love & Healing / EvolveC

We live in a world that glorifies constant busyness, hustling as we call it in Nigeria. But no one taught us the importance of rest. Resting isn’t quitting, it’s how we heal. Resting is not weakness, either, as some might assume. Rather, it is a way of rejuvenating and returning to oneself. Why We Don’t Value Rest Growing up, many of us were programmed to believe that our worth was tied to our output. We celebrate packed schedules, lack of play time, every minute filled with chores, and relentless efforts at the expense of our health. My story I used to be that person who would not rest until everything on her to-do list was sorted out. Rest was not even an option. There were days I would be completely exhausted, and instead of resting, I pushed myself to do even more. I started experiencing burnout and would lash out at the slightest provocation. I lost motivation and the will to try anything new. Constantly feeling sick and angry. I was just busy but not productive. My healing came the day I told myself, you know what? I‘ve had enough, I need a break! That day, I asked for help with my children, took some days off from work, and decided to rest. I felt a kind of relief I hadn’t experienced in a long time. I slept, watched my favourite program, and reconnected with myself. I felt alive again. That for me was my eureka moment! Resting isn’t laziness but an investment in your future self. The Effects of Ignoring Rest: Burnout Poor health Lack of motivation Healing Through Rest: What It Looks Like Healing sometimes doesn’t always mean deep therapy sessions or sudden life changes. Sometimes, all you need is; Sleep in on the weekend Turn off your phone for a few hours Say “no” to something that drains you Take a walk by yourself or with a loved one Do nothing and let that be enough You don’t need permission to rest. You only need to remember: you’re human, not a machine. Resting isn’t quitting, it’s Rejuvenating Quitting means giving up. Resting means pausing to reorganise. Rest: Is strategic It’s intentional It’s empowering By resting, you’re telling yourself:“I matter enough to take care of myself.” And that’s not weakness. That’s wisdom. Let This Be Your Reminder Today If you’re tired, rest.If your spirit feels stretched thin, pause.If your inner critic is screaming, “keep going or else,”breathe—and listen instead to your body’s whisper: “Slow down. You’re safe.” You are not falling behind-you are resting, healing, and becoming. And that is powerful! Final Thought: You Deserve the Break You’ve Been Avoiding Society may tell you to keep going, but your body and mind know the truth: Rest isn’t quitting. It’s necessary for growth, healing, and long-term success. So today, permit yourself to pause. The work will still be there, but you’ll return to it with more clarity, energy, and resilience. How do you prioritize rest in your busy life? Please share in the comments!

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An one road with the quote The right mindset doesn’t erase fear—it gives you the courage to move forward anyway

I Thought Fear Was the Problem—Until I Changed My Mindset

5 Comments / Growth Mindset / EvolveC

For years, I believed fear was my problem. I would ask myself, What if I fail? What if this isn’t my area of strength? I would make all kinds of excuses to convince myself not to try. Then came a moment that I won’t forget. I was offered a new role at work. An opportunity anyone would be excited to have. But instead, I panicked. I wondered why me? Was I set up to fail? I declined the position out of fear, telling myself I wasn’t qualified. That experience shook me.It got me thinking… For the first time, I asked myself: Was fear the problem—or was I just thinking the wrong way? Looking back now, I regret missing that opportunity, but I’ve learned from it. And I know better now. The Mindset Shift Missing that opportunity made me realize I needed to work on my mindset. I can’t keep missing out on opportunities due to my limiting beliefs. While my boss saw potential in me, I didn’t see it in myself. Fear Wasn’t the Problem—My Mindset Was I didn’t realize all the while that I had spent so much time fearing failure that I never stopped to ask: Are these fears rooted in truth—or just beliefs I’ve repeated too often? How I Work on My Mindset (Step by Step) 1. I Consume Mindset-Shifting Content Books have been my anchor on this journey, and one I would recommend is “Mindset” by Carol Dweck. It changed something in me. I also listen to podcasts, webinars, and teachings that help me think differently. I have stopped seeing fear as a stop sign. Now, I acknowledge it as an opportunity for growth. 2. I Am Replacing Negative Self-Talk With Positive Beliefs Each time the thought comes: “I’m not ready,” I quietly replace it with “I’ll figure it out as I go.” “What if I fail?” I tell myself, “What if I succeed?” These shifts may be small, but they make a huge difference. 3. I Have Started Taking Action—Even While Still Scared I’ve stopped waiting for perfect conditions. I show up anyway. I embrace the “act first, confidence follows” approach. And guess what? The more I pushed through fear, the smaller it became. The Biggest Lesson I Learned Fear won’t disappear—but its power over you can. The difference between the old me (who avoided risks) and the current me (who takes them despite fear) comes down to one thing: I don’t let fear make decisions for me anymore. Even when the voice whispers, “What if you fail?” I answer back: “Then I’ll learn. And I’ll try again.” Final Thought: Is Fear Holding You Back If you’re stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, ask yourself: Are you truly not capable? Or have you been convinced that you’re not? The answer might change everything. Because the right mindset doesn’t erase fear—it gives you the courage to move forward.

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How Empowered Living Begins with the Boundaries You Keep

2 Comments / Self-Love & Healing / EvolveC

I didn’t realise early on that empowered living begins with setting boundaries. Many of us were taught that saying “yes” makes us good, lovable people. But what if always saying yes slowly pulls us away from who we truly are? I know that feeling too well. I’ve come to understand that living an empowered life isn’t about doing more; it is about doing what truly matters. And this starts with boundaries. Boundaries Set the Foundation for Self-Respect Setting boundaries is about respecting your limits and needs so you can show up for yourself and the people you care about. When there are no set boundaries, you will experience burnout, overwhelm, and even lose your sense of identity. Honouring your limits will allow you to create: Space to recharge Reduce stress and resentment Build healthier relationships that will be based on honesty and mutual respect. For each time I set a boundary, I know it is an act of self-love – a way to protect my energy and well-being. What Changed When I Started Saying “No” It was a struggle learning to say “no” to anyone. It used to feel uncomfortable because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. But over time, I discovered that real strength lies in knowing my limits and being firm in my beliefs and needs. Here’s what I noticed when I started setting boundaries: I felt more confident in my choices My relationships became more genuine I had more time and energy for what I truly want Empowered living doesn’t mean you will always get it right. It’s about choosing yourself—even when it’s uncomfortable—and trusting that your choice will lead to inner peace. Begin with One Small Change Empowered living begins with setting boundaries through simple, daily decisions. It’s about knowing when you’ve reached your limit and gently pulling back. It’s about saying ‘no’ without guilt. Nothing changes overnight, so you have to start small. Reflect on what needs to change and begin working on it. My change started when I noticed how exhausted I used to feel at the end of every day. Boundaries Are a Gift Setting healthy boundaries is a gift you give yourself and those around you. It’s essential for your mental health. It creates space for growth, healing, and deeper connection. You Are Deserving Remember, you are worthy of respect, care, and peace. The grace to live empowered is already within you—claim it. What About You? Have you struggled with setting boundaries? What little step will you take today to live a more empowered life? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

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A young woman with arms crossed in a room with a group of people showing confidence is a skill you can build

Confidence Isn’t Just a Feeling: It’s a Skill You Can Build

10 Comments / Growth Mindset / EvolveC

I used to believe confidence was an inborn trait, especially when I saw people I admire enter a room and completely own it. They speak up without hesitation and handle challenges, big or small. A few years ago, I struggled with sharing my ideas in a room. Why? I wasn’t confident enough to speak up. I always second-guessed myself, rehearsed what I wanted to say ten times in my head, but never spoke up. I had this one-time experience that shifted everything for me. I was in a meeting that required everyone to share their ideas. I had this solid idea, but couldn’t bring myself to share; instead, I told it to someone else who confidently shared it as her idea. It was instantly applauded, and I was left feeling sad. I learnt a lesson – Confidence isn’t something you have or don’t. It’s a skill you can build just like learning to read and write. The Lie We Believed About Confidence Most of us think that confidence comes with a feeling, one that shows up in perfection. Like when you are in your best mood, perfect outfit, and everything is working as planned. No, confidence is a skill. If you’re trying to figure out how to build confidence, the first step is realising it’s a mindset, not a mood. The most confident people we know today and admire will tell you that they didn’t start confident. They took action and continued to show up. Confidence Is Built Through Action One of the most uncomfortable truths I want to share with you today is that Confidence comes from taking action. My experience helped me learn that I don’t need to feel confident before I can speak up. Even if I have to speak with a shaky voice, I will take action. Speaking in public initially was terrifying for me. I learnt to push through the discomfort, believe in my ideas, and little by little, I started feeling confident. Building self-confidence won’t happen by thinking our way through it. Instead, it comes from showing yourself, over and over again, that you can handle what’s on the other side of fear. Building Confidence is a Daily Practice Just like going to the gym, developing confidence takes practice and showing up. To be honest, there are still days when I feel awkward and even doubt myself. But I remind myself that I’ve done this before and I can do it again. This prep talk has got me going and is helping me trust myself more. If you’re working on your confidence mindset, here are a few daily habits that helped me: 3 Practical Ways to Build Confidence Daily Do One Small Unusual Thing Each Day For me, it started with small things: joining a community, sharing my ideas, and attending events. These were like daily confidence exercises that built my courage. Track Your Wins. I have a journal where I write the things that I am working on and the ones I have achieved. This serves as a reminder for me to trust my process. Talk to Yourself Kindly I understood that what you tell yourself daily becomes your inner voice. So, I don’t speak unkindly to myself anymore, even when doubt creeps in. I remind myself why I started in the first place. This has helped my inner confidence. You Don’t Need Permission to Start The biggest lesson I’ve learnt: You don’t wait for confidence to take action. You take action — and that’s where confidence begins. Even if your hands shake and your voice cracks. Keep at it. Trust me, your first time might not turn out great, but keep showing up. Always remember: Confidence isn’t found – it’s created. And you’ve got what it takes to start building it today. If this post resonated with you, share it with someone ready to stop waiting for confidence and start building it. 💪

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The power of gratitude and its benefits for mental health and happiness.

The Power of Gratitude: Transform Your Life with Thankfulness

4 Comments / Empowered Living / EvolveC

The Power Of Gratitude: How It Can Transform Your Life I developed the practice of jotting down three things for which I am thankful every day a few months ago. At first, it felt repetitive, but over time, I noticed a shift in my mindset—I was happier, more patient, and less stressed. Science supports the idea that cultivating gratitude can boost happiness by up to 25% and enhance mental and physical health. The power of gratitude is one of the most transformative yet often overlooked tools for personal growth. Imagine starting your day each morning reflecting on one thing you appreciate—your bed, a glass of water, the gift of a new day. This practice can transform your outlook and strengthen your resilience, enabling you to approach life with a more positive mindset. Studies show that expressing gratitude has significant positive effects on both mental and physical health. Gratitude activates the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine and serotonin—neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of joy and contentment. Moreover, a consistent gratitude practice can reprogram your brain to focus on the positive aspects of life rather than dwelling on negativity. This shift in perspective enhances resilience, making it easier to navigate challenges with optimism. How the Power of Gratitude can Transform your Life The Power of Gratitude in Improving Mental Health When you focus on what you are grateful for, you train your mind to notice abundance rather than lack. This reduces anxiety and depression, fostering a sense of inner peace and fulfillment. Strengthening Relationships Through The Power of Gratitude Expressing gratitude strengthens bonds with family and friends. When people feel valued, they are more inclined to reciprocate kindness, fostering a cycle of positive and meaningful relationships. The Power of Gratitude in Enhancing Physical Health Grateful individuals are more likely to embrace healthier lifestyles, incorporating regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and self-care into their routines. Studies indicate that gratitude may also enhance immune function and reduce inflammation. Building Resilience With The Power of Gratitude Life is full of uncertainties, but the power of gratitude empowers you to face adversity with grit. Instead of being weighed down by challenges, a grateful heart sees each experience as an opportunity for growth and learning. Easy Ways to Embrace The Power of Gratitude Integrating gratitude into your daily routine can transform your outlook and well-being. Here are some easy yet meaningful ways to make gratitude a habit: Keep a Gratitude Journal: Write down three things you appreciate each day. Express Appreciation: Make it a habit to say “thank you” sincerely. Be Present: Practice mindfulness and notice the small joys in everyday life. Shift Your Perspective: View challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. The power of gratitude is a choice that can transform your life from within. Reflect on your blessings today and observe how they transform your perspective and improve your well-being. When you cultivate an attitude of appreciation, you invite more joy, peace, and fulfilment into your life. Start small, stay consistent, and see how gratitude will redefine the way you experience the world. Links: Scientific Study on Gratitude and Happiness The Psychological Benefits of Gratitude

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A man standing at a crossroads – showing that we have a choice to rewire our mindset.

3 Books That Rewired My Mindset and Broke Limiting Beliefs

6 Comments / Book Recommendation for personal growth / EvolveC

The mind is such a powerful tool that many of us are not fully aware of its real potential. We have often come across the word “mindset”, but few understand how to rewire their mindset to unlock true growth. Today, I would like us to pause and reflect on it more deeply. I define “mindset” in this post as a person’s way of thinking, perspectives, or beliefs they hold about themselves. Our minds have the potential to either build us up or hold us back. We need to start thinking of new ways to rewire our mindset. Personal Reflection: I remember growing up, how some of the teachers we had during our early education made us feel ashamed for not excelling in a subject. Many of us were flogged or publicly shamed. We held onto the belief that failing an exam meant we were dull. Some dropped out of school, while others continued in fear of their fate. We grew up to become people who were afraid to try new things, who see failure as the end. More Mindset Examples: An example I am sure many of us will relate to is how we were raised to be perfect. Oh, I am still struggling with this myself. We unknowingly expect the same of our children today. Imagine expecting a seven-year-old child to behave like an adult. Why? It’s our programming…. There is a need to rewire our mindset in this regard. On Money Mindset: Our attitude towards money is another example that comes to mind. Those of us who were exposed to African magic movies during our formative years will agree with me that some of those movies shaped our mindsets about money and how it should be acquired. We held on to the belief that if you haven’t done something evil, you won’t make money. What a disservice this mindset has done to some of us. Call to Action; It’s time to knock off these limiting beliefs to rewire our mindsets. Growth will not happen if we don’t believe in it. Whatever you focus on grows. What you believe in is what you will make happen. The purpose of this post is to help us take a mental tour of our beliefs and perspectives and rewire our mindsets. Three books that helped me to question some of my beliefs are: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck For a long time, I struggled with consistency. I would start a task, lose interest, and move on to something else. My mindset about creativity and leadership was fixed, and I avoided change. This book helped me recognise my struggles and see effort as a path to mastery, not as a sign of inadequacy. I learnt to ask for feedback instead of being afraid of them. What it taught me: Before reading Mindset, I used to believe that those who succeed professionally are naturally gifted. I equated it to luck and talent. How it rewired my mindset: This book changed all that illusion. I learnt from the book the concept of a growth mindset, which is the belief that you can develop your abilities through effort and learning. A takeaway you can apply today: The fact that you haven’t mastered a skill doesn’t make you a failure. You are simply a work in progress; let that be your mantra. 2. Atomic Habits by James Clear(My favourite book on habits) What it taught me: I learnt from this book about the power of change. We all have goals, but the system we create to achieve them matters more. This perspective about habits completely changed my mindset. It says that, “Your habits are a reflection of your identity”. To become someone new, you must start acting like that person in small ways every day. How it rewired my mindset” Instead of focusing on outcomes (I want to learn a new skill). I have started focusing on identity, like telling myself, “I can learn this skill.” I now build small habits with that identity. This is affecting who I am becoming. A takeaway you can apply today: Ask yourself: “What kind of person would achieve the result I want?” Start building tiny habits that a person would have. Change starts when you acknowledge the identity you want. 3. The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday What it taught me: This book redefined hardship for me as an opportunity. The author explains how every obstacle carries potential for growth and clarity. Obstacles help us understand what we need to work on to succeed. How it rewired my mindset: Before reading this book, I used to believe setbacks were interruptions to success. This book opened my mind to start believing that obstacles are part of the process to success. A takeaway you can apply today: When things don’t go as planned, don’t give up. Pause to know “why” and what needs attention. I am training my mind to see beyond my present struggles and focus on what I am doing to grow. Let the Mindset Shift Begin Our mindsets are often shaped long before we understand their true power. But the beauty of growth is that we are not bound by the beliefs we inherited. We can question and even unlearn them. And we can decide to choose better ones. These three books were not just informative, they helped me rewrite my mindset. Have you ever felt stuck or held back by fear? Start with your mindset. This will affect every other aspect of your life.

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