Self-Love & Healing

Self-love and healing are journeys of reconnecting with your inner strength and embracing your worth. This is about prioritizing your well-being, letting go of negativity, and creating space for growth and balance. Through mindful practices and self-compassion, we explore ways to heal, rebuild self-esteem, and cultivate lasting love and acceptance for ourselves. When you choose self-love, you unlock the potential for a life full of joy and peace.

An image of a black woman with folded laundry, with to do task showing the effect emotional burnout of being the strong one

The Emotional Burnout of Being the Strong One

Have we ever stopped to ask why the people we label as the strongest often carry the heaviest burden? The emotional burnout that comes with being the strong one is a silent struggle many of us face, but we don’t talk about it enough.   In a world that applauds resilience and independence, it’s easy to assume that those who don’t ask for help are built to handle more. But the truth is far more painful—and exhausting.   Why “Being Strong” Can Result in Emotional Burnout As a mum who juggles parenting, work, and daily responsibilities, I’ve experienced burnout firsthand. “I didn’t realise that asking for help wasn’t a sign of weakness. Wearing the ‘strong woman’ label like a badge of honour, I always said ‘yes’ to things I had no business agreeing to, constantly putting everyone else’s needs above mine.   I struggled silently, often ending my days exhausted, overwhelmed, and feeling invisible.   When Strength Becomes a Trap There was a time my friend reached out to me to assist with a community project. I had a lot on my plate already, but because I didn’t want to disappoint her, I accepted it. I assumed saying no would make me appear unfriendly, so I agreed. That decision left me stretched beyond my limit.   Looking back now, I realised it wasn’t just about that one decision. It was about a pattern I had learnt over time. I grew up watching the women around me take on so many responsibilities and still endure. We admired them and called them strong because they never complained. Somewhere along the line, this message was internalised by me unknowingly.  I didn’t realise that I was equating my worth with how much I could carry without breaking.   This mindset cost me a lot: the emotional burnout was real. Because I embraced the “strong one” label, I didn’t consider rest as an option. Self-care wasn’t even in the plan.   I learnt the hard way to prioritise rest. Self-care isn’t selfish but a necessity. I don’t hesitate to ask for help when I need it. I don’t even want to be called a “strong woman” anymore—because it’s not a badge of honour to wear.   Learning to Say “No” Without Guilt One of the hardest lessons I learnt was this: I don’t have to be everything to everyone. “No” is a complete sentence, so say it without guilt but with clarity. I don’t need an extra responsibility to prove my strength.   I now understand my capacity, and I work accordingly. Experiencing the emotional burnout of being the strong one helped me recognise that  I needed to set healthy boundaries for my mental health.   You Don’t Have to Do It All I’m sure some of you, like me, believe being a strong woman means doing it all. Please stop! Your strength is not measured by how much you can take on at once.   Emotional burnout is real, and if not addressed, can lead to a lot of health issues. So if you are navigating the emotional burnout of being the strong one, you are not alone. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine, especially when they are not.   It’s time to pause. Say “no” without guilt. Accept the help. You deserve to rest, too.   💬 Let’s Talk About It Have you experienced—or are you still experiencing—the emotional burnout of being the strong one?   What are you doing to set healthy boundaries or find balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

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A Black woman sitting quietly in nature, embracing stillness to quiet the noise and reclaim her peace.

Quiet the Noise, Reclaim Your Peace

We live in a noisy world that never stops talking. If it’s not your phone buzzing, it’s the emails demanding attention, group chats blowing up, and the never-ending notifications.    There’s always something or someone trying to get our attention.   One Friday evening, after the day’s task, I sat down not to rest but to breathe. It was in that moment that I realised I had lost myself. I wasn’t sure of who I was anymore.  Have I been merely existing?    I felt drained both physically and emotionally. I had a lot of uncompleted to-do lists, responsibilities I had taken on without giving a thought to, and the pressure to show up for everyone.   I realised that I was in everyone’s space, playing the helper and the hero at the same time. But deep inside, I needed to help myself. Then it hit me:  “Who are you?”   This one question peeled the layer I’d been afraid to confront. I was forced to pause and reflect on my essence. What do I really want out of life?What does peace mean to me?   The Turning Point I remember sitting on my bed, thinking of how to make dinner, laundry yet to be folded, and a long to-do list. In that instance, it dawned on me that I had given myself away, and I struggled to recognise who I was becoming. That was my turning point.   It became obvious that I didn’t just need peace but needed to live it. This I know will require me to quiet the noise.  So I took some radical steps. I turned off my phone and stepped back. I stopped scrolling, stopped responding, and stopped trying to do it all.   In the stillness, I began to hear myself again.Not the version of me that demands but the real me.The version of me that craved quiet mornings and the space to just be.   Creating Space for Peace One of the things I did that helped me was going for walks without my phone, just me and my thoughts. I created some hours of silence in my day without the TV on or tasks to do. Just silence, which I craved for. I started noticing a reconnection with myself again.  I could hear myself without the noise.   I rested without feeling guilty. These actions made me feel lighter, not because the world had suddenly become quiet but because I stopped letting it rule me.   A Reminder If you feel you’re losing yourself in the noise of life, it’s time to take a break. Ask yourself: What do I need right now? Your peace matters more than the noise. And sometimes, peace begins with simply switching off and listening in.   So today, choose you. Quiet the noise. Reclaim your peace. One small step at a time.   Let’s Reflect Have you been feeling stretched thin lately? Maybe this is your sign to step back and ask, “What do I need right now?” You might be surprised at the answer. Quiet the noise. Come home to yourself. And choose peace over and over again.

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A woman looking out a rainy window, reflecting on the message hidden in her emotions.

The Message Hidden in Your Emotions

Have you ever felt so pained about something that you didn’t know how to explain it? Like being triggered by hearing a child crying or a sudden feeling of anger by someone’s comments? The message is hidden in your emotions.   Where do these emotions come from? Have you taken time to reflect on your childhood and how you were raised? Did your feelings matter? Were they validated? If you were constantly told not to cry when you were hurting. These reflections will help you understand where you learnt how to manage your emotions and your response to them.   But here’s the truth: there is a message hidden in your emotions, and ignoring them doesn’t make them disappear.   Emotions Are Inner Messengers Our emotions aren’t some random feelings that just pop up. They don’t show up to ruin our day—or to bring us joy. They’re signals that your attention is needed. Have you ever been so upset about someone’s actions that you were moved with rage? That feeling? I have been there.   Every emotion carries a message. Fear keeps us from danger. Guilt pushes us to apologise. Sadness tells us that something or someone is of value to us. Paying attention to our emotions serves as a guide towards our healing.   Why Do We Ignore Our Emotions? As adults, we are shaped by those who raised us and the environment in which we were raised. Our background plays a major role in how we deal with emotions. If you grew up in a home where emotions were dismissed, you learn to conceal yours. Sometimes, we feel silence is the best way to survive our emotions. But what worked as a child can become harmful as an adult.   Stop Silencing Your Emotions Pretending to be okay when you’re not is suppressing your emotions.   It’s time to connect to our inner selves and listen to our emotions. Our society is filled with people carrying years of unprocessed emotions, many of whom end up hurting others.  Growing up, we didn’t know any better. We thought hitting or yelling was okay, but now we know, it’s not. This journey of understanding my emotions has been an amazing experience for me. I am growing in self-awareness and in how I show up.   Gentle Reminders It’s not okay to hurt others because you are hurting. Running from your emotions won’t make them go away, but learning to walk through them. True courage lies in embracing, not hiding, your feelings. The message hidden in your emotion is an invitation to grow, heal, and become. Allow yourself to feel. Pause and ask: What is this emotion telling me? We don’t need to have it all figured out. Healing begins with awareness.   Growth and healing are waiting on the other side.

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Woman in front of a foggy mirror, reflecting a moment of emotional awareness.

Emotional Awareness: Why It Changes Everything

I used to think I had my emotions under control until an unexpected outburst some time ago set me straight. I didn’t realise how much I had bottled up; a small trigger sent me off from who I thought I was.   That day made me realise I didn’t know myself as I thought, and if I didn’t start working on my emotions, I would bleed on those who didn’t cut me. I had to start paying more attention to my triggers, patterns, and my environment.   Have you found yourself angry and can’t pinpoint the reason? We sometimes brush off these emotions, thinking they will just disappear, but they don’t. They simply linger in the background, silently shaping our moods and choices.   Emotional awareness isn’t just a phrase; it is a “game-changer”. Being intentional about practising it will change everything for you.   What Is Emotional Awareness? Emotional awareness means recognising what you are feeling and why. It’s the ability to identify and express your emotions and understand how your actions are influenced. Emotional awareness also allows you to understand what others are feeling and to empathise with them.   Why Emotional Awareness? Before my emotional awareness journey, I didn’t pay much attention to my feelings. I used to think they would fade away, and I would be fine. Little did I know, I was a hot volcano waiting to erupt. Emotions like anger, fear, joy, and sadness are part of what makes us human.   “Emotional awareness is not about controlling your feelings—it’s about understanding them so they don’t control you.” Our emotions drive our behaviour, and without awareness of what we are feeling, it becomes impossible to fully understand who we are.   With emotional awareness, I have learnt to pause and reflect: What emotion am I feeling? Where is it coming from? What do I need? These regular check-ins help me manage my feelings and overwhelm. I feel more connected to myself and those around me.   Not Every Emotion Needs a Reaction One of the biggest gifts emotional awareness gives is choice. The choice to walk away from a heated moment. The choice to respond with calm instead of anger. The knowledge to understand and empathise with others You’re not “Too Emotional”, but human Many of us grew up hearing phrases like: “Is that why you are crying?” “Do you want me to give you a reason to cry?” “You are too sensitive.” “Stop taking it too seriously.” Phrases like these teach us to hide our emotions or be ashamed of expressing them.   Gentle Reminder: You are human, and it’s okay to have emotions. You are not too much or too emotional.   Building Emotional Awareness—One Small Step at a Time Here are a few simple ways to start building your emotional awareness: 1. Name what you feel Journaling will help you identify those emotions. Simply writing, I don’t feel good about this, is a good place to start.   2. Take a Deep Breath before you React This step has helped me in many situations, especially with my children. I pause to ask myself, “Why am I triggered?”   3. Your Emotions are Valid Never let anyone make you feel your feelings aren’t valid. You have every right to your feelings; how you manage them makes the difference.   4. Don’t Hide How You Feel Speaking about your emotions lightens the burden. This practise has helped me understand myself better.   Why Emotional Awareness Changes Everything When you are emotionally aware: You stop running from your feelings. You start recognising who you are: You communicate clearly and more effectively; You build stronger, healthier relationships You make more thoughtful decisions Emotions Aren’t the Problem—Ignoring Them Is Emotional awareness is like cleaning a mirror—you start to see yourself more clearly once you wipe away the fog. It’s time to stop ignoring those emotions and start naming them. Being emotionally aware is like learning the language of your inner world. Suddenly, you understand what your heart has been trying to say all along.”   I hope this post will trigger a positive change in your emotional awareness journey and help you understand that it is not about fixing yourself. Rather, it’s about meeting yourself with honesty, courage, and compassion. That is where change begins.   You are not alone on this journey. We are all learning together.

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Woman journaling for emotional healing and clarity at a sunlit desk with indoor plants.

Journal Prompts for Emotional Healing and Clarity

 I was reflecting some days ago on how I started journaling as a teenager. This was long before I knew of journal prompts for emotional healing and clarity. I would write about how I spent my day and the emotions that I felt. I didn’t fully understand what I was doing back then; I just knew I was writing to myself.   Years later, I have picked up journaling again as an adult, this time with a deeper understanding and clarity of why I should journal. I am determined to be more consistent than I have been. The excitement and the relief I feel each time I write can’t be explained. I journal every morning and before bedtime to reflect on how I spent my day.   Journaling is therapeutic for me. It helps me connect with my inner self while putting my thoughts and emotions on paper. It is my way of seeking clarity and untangling those emotions that I don’t fully understand.   Journaling does not require perfection; write from your heart.   I found these 8 journal prompts for emotional healing and clarity helpful on my growth journey, and I would like to share them with you.   1. What am I finding hard to release? Carrying a grudge or guilt can sometimes build up into heavy emotions. This prompt has enabled me to name my feelings.   2. What emotion am I avoiding, and why? I used to be guilty of avoiding emotions and hoping they would disappear on their own. With journaling, I write exactly how I feel. This practice has helped me understand and work through them.   3. What part of my story have I been afraid to tell—even to myself? Healing begins with telling the truth to yourself. Journaling allows you to accept yourself for who you are while working on self-improvement.   4. When was the last time I truly felt at peace? This prompt is super helpful in reconnecting with your inner self.   5. Am I Proud of Myself? Why? We sometimes find ourselves in situations where we are waiting for others to validate us. Healing is understanding your strength and celebrating your silent victories.   6. What boundaries do I need to feel safe? Setting healthy boundaries helps us reclaim our emotional space. You can’t be available to everyone, and it is fine.   7 . What am I grateful for in this season of my life? Gratitude allows us to appreciate the seemingly little things. It doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It simply shifts our focus to what truly matters.   8. What lessons have I learnt from this experience? With journaling, you can keep track of your progress while honouring your growth.   A gentle reminder  These journal prompts for emotional healing and clarity are tools for reflection and transformation. So get that notebook and start your journaling experience. You deserve a space where you can be honest with yourself.   Start today, one prompt and one page at a time. Jour

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Cheta smiling in a peach beaded dress on her birthday, a reminder to keep showing up and evolving.

A Letter to Myself: My Growth Journey

Dear Me, Happy Birthday. Today, I pause to honour the woman I’m becoming and the journey that is shaping me.   This past year has been filled with unexpected lessons, quiet victories, deep reflections, and meaningful growth. Turning a year older feels different—it feels like arriving at a more grounded, grateful version of myself.   A year ago, I was full of questions. I had just stepped into unfamiliar territory—starting a blog, searching for deeper meaning, and learning to balance my dreams with the everyday demands of family life. It wasn’t always easy.   There were days I felt overwhelmed, uncertain, and far from the vision I had for myself. Doubt crept in. But looking back now, I recognize how those quiet struggles were shaping me into someone stronger, more self-aware, and more at peace with my true self.   One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt is that growth rarely looks like we expect. It’s unpredictable. It often feels like you’re taking two steps back for every one step forward. But even in the chaos, there is beauty. Every stumble, pause, and small win played a part in becoming who I am today.   I’ve realised that personal growth isn’t just about hitting big milestones or chasing success. It’s about the subtle shifts—the moments I choose to show up for myself. It’s found in vulnerability, learning to extend grace to myself, and trusting that I am enough, right here and now.   This year, I’ve learnt to honour the small victories: Finding the courage to share my voice Nurturing honest, heartfelt connections Being kind to myself on the hard days These moments matter. They are the foundation of lasting growth. Real transformation happens not in giant leaps but in the quiet, consistent choices we make each day. If you ever feel like you’re falling behind or questioning your path, please remember this: you’re not alone. Growth isn’t linear. The journey twists and turns. It can feel slow, confusing, and even frustrating. But that doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Even the smallest, most uncertain steps are moving you forward. Your journey is unfolding in its own time, and that’s more than enough.   So today, I say thank you to myself: Thank you for showing up, even when it was hard. Thank you for embracing the mess and learning through the struggle. Thank you for being patient with who I’m becoming. And most of all, thank you for choosing to love yourself through it all.   As I step into this new year, I feel hopeful. Hopeful for the growth still ahead, the lessons waiting to unfold, and the opportunity to keep evolving into the woman I’m meant to be.   In this new year, I will continue to welcome my growth journey with open arms. I’ll remind myself that every day is a gift, and I don’t need to have it all figured out to keep moving forward.   If you’re reading this and walking through your journey, let me gently remind you: It’s okay to be in the messy middle, not to hold it all together. Growth can be slow and unglamorous, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real. Keep showing up. You’re becoming someone beautiful—even if you can’t fully see it yet.   With love, Cheta   I’d love to hear your story in the comments. What lessons are unfolding in your life right now? What small shifts are guiding your growth?   Let’s keep evolving—together. One honest, heartfelt moment at a time.

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Mother and child smiling warmly, showing empathy and compassion for growth.

Empathy and Compassion for Growth

Have you taken time to reflect on the biggest shifts in your life?   As I look back on mine, I’ve come to understand that true change-the kind that softens and reshapes you—often stems from empathy and compassion for growth, not from books or achievements.   It comes from raw, honest moments when I truly felt seen. Like when a loved one sat beside me in silence while I cried. When my child reached out for my hand, even after I raised my voice. Or when I finally permitted myself to feel my pain instead of pushing it away.   These weren’t big moments, but they were powerful. They didn’t force me to change—they invited me to grow, gently and deeply.   Redefining Growth from the Inside Out We often think of growth as pushing harder, doing more, and constantly achieving. But over the years, I’ve realised that real, lasting growth looks different. It’s quieter and tender. It’s the kind of growth rooted in empathy and compassion. It’s choosing to: Sit with your emotions instead of dismissing them. Listen without interrupting. Hold space for others—and yourself—without judgement. Empathy and compassion for growth mean choosing presence over perfection. It’s in these softer moments that true transformation begins.   Why Empathy and Compassion Can Be So Hard Let’s be honest—being empathetic and compassionate isn’t always easy. Especially if you didn’t grow up experiencing them.   It’s hard to extend grace when: You’re stretched thin You’ve never been shown that kind of kindness You’ve been taught that strength means suppressing emotion Many of us were taught to be tough, to keep going. Not to show weakness. But empathy and compassion for growth challenge that narrative. They invite us to be vulnerable, to unlearn the harshness we inherited and make space for healing.   How I’m Intentionally Practising Empathy and Compassion I haven’t mastered this—and I don’t think anyone truly does. But here are a few small ways I’m trying to embody empathy and compassion in my everyday life: 🌱 Start with yourself When I feel overwhelmed, I pause and ask, “What do I need right now?” Then I speak to myself the way I would speak to someone I love.   🌱 Listen fully One of the most empathetic things you can do is simply listen—not to reply, but to understand.   🌱 Let go of fixing I’ve learnt that empathy isn’t about offering solutions. It’s about showing up, even when you don’t have the answers.   🌱 Be curious, not critical When someone disappoints me, I ask, “Why am I feeling this way?” That reflection helps me respond with gentleness.   🌱 Nurture your inner world I protect my peace. I am learning to be kind to myself to have something kind to offer others.   These may seem small, but with time, they change how I show up for myself and those around me.   The Comfort of Shared Humanity Some of the deepest healing doesn’t come from doing—it comes from being seen. Fully. Gently. Without judgement.   When someone says, “I understand,” without trying to fix or correct, it changes us from within. It eases the ache. It helps you breathe again. That’s the power of empathy and compassion for growth. They connect us. They heal us. They remind us that we are not alone.   Imagine how different our homes, friendships, and workplaces could feel if we led with empathy. If we parented from a place of compassion. If we extended to ourselves the same gentleness we long for.   Growing with Gentle Courage Choosing to grow through empathy and compassion is one of the most courageous things we can do. It’s not loud, but it’s powerful. It’s not fast, but it’s lasting. It’s in the soft word. The silent presence. The kind gesture when anger would be easier.   Let’s keep choosing that kind of growth, not to prove anything, but to connect. Because the world doesn’t need more perfection. It needs more people who are present, kind, and willing to feel.

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Sunlit desk space symbolizing calm and growth through stress and anxiety.

Growing Through Stress and Anxiety

Growing through stress and anxiety is something many of us are still learning how to do. It’s been a mix of motherhood, chasing dreams, holding space for others, and trying not to lose myself. Stress and anxiety have a way of creeping in unannounced. There are days I feel like I am just trying to keep my head above water. But over time, I’ve learnt that while these feelings may be a part of life, there are mindful ways to grow through them with intention and grace.   1. Naming My Feelings: The First Step in Growing Through Stress and Anxiety In the past, I used to suppress my emotions like they didn’t matter, but lately, I have learnt to name how I feel. Part of growing through stress and anxiety means giving those feelings a name—be it tiredness or fear. I’ve found that when I acknowledge what I’m feeling inside of me, I take the first honest step toward healing.   2. Taking Mindful Breaks: Creating Space to Grow Through Stress and Anxiety I used to think rest was a luxury! But I’ve recently realised that growing through stress and anxiety means making room to pause. It could be taking a few deep breaths or a short walk. These small, intentional breaks help me reconnect with myself.   3. Setting Boundaries: Protecting My Peace  This one has been a game-changer for me. “I’ve learnt that saying ‘no’ isn’t selfish—it’s sacred. Through stress and anxiety, I’ve grown into someone who honours her limits, chooses rest over burnout, and protects her peace like treasure .” Boundaries give me room to breathe and be fully present.   4. Practicing Self-Kindness  It’s easy to be hard on ourselves when we feel we aren’t measuring up. But one thing that helps me in managing stress and anxiety is choosing kind words over criticism. I remind myself: I’m trying, I’m learning, and I’m allowed to rest.   5. Embracing My Season Comparison steals peace. True growth begins when you embrace your season and honour your journey. Even the smallest step forward becomes powerful when it’s taken with self-awareness and acceptance.   6. Exercise: Movement is my medicine. On days when stress feels overwhelming, I take a moment to stretch or step outside for a walk. These small acts of exercise aren’t just about staying active—they’re a reminder that growth through stress and anxiety isn’t only mental. It’s physical too. Exercising helps release tension, resets my mind, and grounds me in the present.   7. Creating Gentle Routines for Growing Through Stress and Anxiety I no longer rush into my mornings. Instead, I ease in—listening to inspiring podcasts, journaling, praying, or letting soft music play in the background. These simple rhythms help me stay grounded. Amidst the stress and anxiety, they’ve become quiet anchors, helping me grow, one mindful morning at a time.   Final Words on Growing Through Stress and Anxiety So take a deep breath. Release the need for perfection and embrace where you are. Growth is a journey, not a destination—it’s the quiet, daily steps forward, the moments of grace, and the soft understanding that you are where you need to be. You’re not behind; you’re simply becoming, evolving with every choice, every breath. And in this shared journey, know that you are never alone.   Take a moment today to acknowledge how far you’ve come. Be gentle with yourself and remember—you are becoming, and that is enough.

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Stormy sea with light rays breaking through—symbolising finding peace in the middle of life’s storms.

Finding Peace in the Middle of life’s Storm

Finding peace in the middle of life’s storm didn’t make much sense to me until I started experiencing life in different phases.   Growing up, I often heard the phrase, “life is not a bed of roses”. I didn’t fully comprehend its meaning till I stepped into adulthood and saw my life unfolding in ways I never imagined. I began to understand that the challenges of life can come in different forms – family pressure, societal expectations, financial struggles, and even health-related issues.   I have walked through seasons of my life thinking I had all my plans figured out, like I knew the direction my life was going. Boom! Life happened; I saw my plans falling by the wayside. I will wake up in the middle of the night to cry and wish them away. I will pray and stay up in the night, seeking answers.   That phase of my life taught me stillness: how finding peace in the middle of life’s storm should be my goal.   Walking on Shaky Ground Have you ever experienced a moment when you feel the ground you walk on is shaky? Those are the moments of confusion. When the struggle seems like forever. That moment when we think we have done our best and have nothing to show for it. While waiting in silence for answers is the most difficult thing to do.    Those are the moments where we are building resilience and growing deep roots slowly and quietly.   Finding Peace in the Middle of Life’s Storm – Peace is Not Loud Peace often comes not in a loud, dramatic way but in a whisper. It is in that moment when we pause to reflect. Sometimes, you can find peace in the scripture speaking to you exactly where you are.   I am constantly reminding myself that peace doesn’t mean everything around me will make sense, but trusting in my process while learning to find rest.   In Mark 4:39, we learnt how God commanded the storm to be still when his disciples were scared. He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down, and it was completely calm. The passage demonstrates the power of finding peace in the middle of life’s storm.   Letting Go of What We Can’t Control It is often difficult to loosen our grip on what we assume is familiar and under our control. Finding peace in the middle of a life storm is teaching us to stop fighting the fog and walk through it, hand in hand with God.   We don’t need to know all the answers. It is okay not to be sure. It is equally okay to feel tired and cry sometimes. In all of this, I want you to know that you are not alone. You are being held even if you don’t see the hands.   We don’t need to be perfect; it is a myth to even think so. Let’s choose trust over our fears and whisper back to the storms: You won’t steal my peace.   Growing Strong Together In the midst of life’s struggles and confusion, never feel alone. Peace is a gift that we all have to embrace. Life will not always be a smooth ride, but peace is possible.   If you are going through a tough season in your life, be encouraged. Find peace even in the struggles and confusion of life. If for any reason today, you feel lost, pain in your heart, tiredness in your soul. Pause and remind yourself: peace, be still! Find joy in the simplest things around you. In your child’s laughter, in the hug of a loved one.   Finding Peace in the middle of life’s storm: Gentle Reminder Peace is closer than we think. It is found in the stillness of our hearts, away from the noise. Peace is found in total surrender to God.   We will find peace not by escaping the storm but by walking through it. Peace, be still.

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How upbringing shapes adult self-image — reflective African woman deep in thought

How Your Upbringing Affects Your Self-Image

We need to take a moment to pause and think about how our childhood affects how we see ourselves as adults today. The words spoken to us growing up, the love we felt—or didn’t feel—and even the silent expectations from our parents or caregivers can stay with us into adulthood.   Dr Gabor Maté, a well-known expert on emotional health, talks about how the emotional environment we grew up in shapes us in ways we might not always realise.   A Story That Might Sound Familiar Take Ada’s story, for example. As a child, she was often told not to cry or show too much emotion. Being “strong” meant keeping her feelings to herself. Even when she did well in school, no one clapped for her or said, “Well done.” She learnt to keep pushing, hoping that someday she would be noticed.   As an adult, Ada works hard, but deep down, she struggles with self-doubt. She tries to earn love and approval through her achievements—something she missed as a child. Does that sound familiar?   So many of us grew up in homes where physical needs were met—there was food, school, and a roof over our heads—but emotional needs were often ignored. No one taught us how to feel our feelings or talk about them.   Why Our Childhood Still Matters Whether we felt safe or constantly criticised—shapes how we see ourselves today. If love in your home came only when you were “good” or doing what others expected, you may now find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth. It’s no wonder many of us deal with people-pleasing, fear of failure, or perfectionism. We wear a mask, trying to be “enough” for others, often forgetting who we really are underneath.   But here’s the truth: we were never meant to earn love.   How your upbringing affects your self image – It is time to take off the mask Healing starts when we begin to see the connection between our past and our present. As Dr Gabor Maté says, “We must not confuse the behaviours we adopted to survive with who we are.”   You are not your coping mechanisms, nor are you the scared child still trying to win approval. You are a strong, beautiful soul who deserves love, kindness, and rest. And one of the most powerful steps you can take is simply becoming aware.   As we say in Nigeria, “He who does not know where he is coming from will not know where he is going.” When you understand how your past shaped you, you’re better equipped to shape your future.   Let’s talk about how your upbringing affects your self-image Have you ever thought about how your upbringing shaped the way you see yourself today? I’d really love to hear your story. Drop a comment—let’s talk about it.   Remember, you’re not alone. And your healing matters. Let’s grow together, one gentle step at a time.

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