Self-Love & Healing

We live in a world that glorifies constant busyness, hustling as we call it in Nigeria. But no one taught us the importance of rest. Resting isn’t quitting, it’s how we heal. Resting is not weakness, either, as some might assume. Rather, it is a way of rejuvenating and returning to oneself.    Why We Don’t Value Rest Growing up, many of us were programmed to believe that our worth was tied to our output. We celebrate packed schedules, lack of play time, every minute filled with chores, and relentless efforts at the expense of our health.    My story I used to be that person who would not rest until everything on her to-do list was sorted out. Rest was not even an option. There were days I would be completely exhausted, and instead of resting, I pushed myself to do even more.   I started experiencing burnout and would lash out at the slightest provocation. I lost motivation and the will to try anything new. Constantly feeling sick and angry.  I was just busy but not productive.    My healing came the day I told myself, you know what? I‘ve had enough, I need a break! That day, I asked for help with my children, took some days off from work, and decided to rest.   I felt a kind of relief I hadn’t experienced in a long time. I slept, watched my favourite program, and reconnected with myself. I felt alive again. That for me was my eureka moment!  Resting isn’t laziness but an investment in your future self.   The Effects of Ignoring Rest: Burnout  Poor health Lack of motivation  Healing Through Rest: What It Looks Like Healing sometimes doesn’t always mean deep therapy sessions or sudden life changes. Sometimes, all you need is;  Sleep in on the weekend Turn off your phone for a few hours Say “no” to something that drains you Take a walk by yourself or with a loved one Do nothing and let that be enough You don’t need permission to rest. You only need to remember: you’re human, not a machine.   Resting isn’t quitting, it’s Rejuvenating Quitting means giving up. Resting means pausing to reorganise. Rest: Is strategic It’s intentional It’s empowering By resting, you’re telling yourself:“I matter enough to take care of myself.” And that’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.   Let This Be Your Reminder Today If you’re tired, rest.If your spirit feels stretched thin, pause.If your inner critic is screaming, “keep going or else,”breathe—and listen instead to your body’s whisper: “Slow down. You’re safe.” You are not falling behind-you are resting, healing, and becoming. And that is powerful!   Final Thought: You Deserve the Break You’ve Been Avoiding Society may tell you to keep going, but your body and mind know the truth: Rest isn’t quitting. It’s necessary for growth, healing, and long-term success.   So today, permit yourself to pause. The work will still be there, but you’ll return to it with more clarity, energy, and resilience.   How do you prioritize rest in your busy life? Please share in the comments!

I didn’t realise early on that empowered living begins with setting boundaries. Many of us were taught that saying “yes” makes us good, lovable people. But what if always saying yes slowly pulls us away from who we truly are? I know that feeling too well.   I’ve come to understand that living an empowered life isn’t about doing more; it is about doing what truly matters.  And this starts with boundaries.   Boundaries Set the Foundation for Self-Respect Setting boundaries is about respecting your limits and needs so you can show up for yourself and the people you care about. When there are no set boundaries, you will experience burnout, overwhelm, and even lose your sense of identity.    Honouring your limits will allow you to create:  Space to recharge Reduce stress and resentment Build healthier relationships that will be based on honesty and mutual respect. For each time I set a boundary, I know it is an act of self-love – a way to protect my energy and well-being.   What Changed When I Started Saying “No” It was a struggle learning to say “no” to anyone. It used to feel uncomfortable because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. But over time, I discovered that real strength lies in knowing my limits and being firm in my beliefs and needs.   Here’s what I noticed when I started setting boundaries: I felt more confident in my choices My relationships became more genuine I had more time and energy for what I truly want Empowered living doesn’t mean you will always get it right. It’s about choosing yourself—even when it’s uncomfortable—and trusting that your choice will lead to inner peace.   Begin with One Small Change Empowered living begins with setting boundaries through simple, daily decisions. It’s about knowing when you’ve reached your limit and gently pulling back. It’s about saying ‘no’ without guilt.   Nothing changes overnight, so you have to start small. Reflect on what needs to change and begin working on it. My change started when I noticed how exhausted I used to feel at the end of every day.   Boundaries Are a Gift Setting healthy boundaries is a gift you give yourself and those around you. It’s essential for your mental health.  It creates space for growth, healing, and deeper connection.   You Are Deserving Remember, you are worthy of respect, care, and peace. The grace to live empowered is already within you—claim it.   What About You? Have you struggled with setting boundaries? What little step will you take today to live a more empowered life?   I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Have we ever stopped to ask why the people we label as the strongest often carry the heaviest burden? The emotional burnout that comes with being the strong one is a silent struggle many of us face, but we don’t talk about it enough.   In a world that applauds resilience and independence, it’s easy to assume that those who don’t ask for help are built to handle more. But the truth is far more painful—and exhausting.   Why “Being Strong” Can Result in Emotional Burnout As a mum who juggles parenting, work, and daily responsibilities, I’ve experienced burnout firsthand. “I didn’t realise that asking for help wasn’t a sign of weakness. Wearing the ‘strong woman’ label like a badge of honour, I always said ‘yes’ to things I had no business agreeing to, constantly putting everyone else’s needs above mine.   I struggled silently, often ending my days exhausted, overwhelmed, and feeling invisible.   When Strength Becomes a Trap There was a time my friend reached out to me to assist with a community project. I had a lot on my plate already, but because I didn’t want to disappoint her, I accepted it. I assumed saying no would make me appear unfriendly, so I agreed. That decision left me stretched beyond my limit.   Looking back now, I realised it wasn’t just about that one decision. It was about a pattern I had learnt over time. I grew up watching the women around me take on so many responsibilities and still endure. We admired them and called them strong because they never complained. Somewhere along the line, this message was internalised by me unknowingly.  I didn’t realise that I was equating my worth with how much I could carry without breaking.   This mindset cost me a lot: the emotional burnout was real. Because I embraced the “strong one” label, I didn’t consider rest as an option. Self-care wasn’t even in the plan.   I learnt the hard way to prioritise rest. Self-care isn’t selfish but a necessity. I don’t hesitate to ask for help when I need it. I don’t even want to be called a “strong woman” anymore—because it’s not a badge of honour to wear.   Learning to Say “No” Without Guilt One of the hardest lessons I learnt was this: I don’t have to be everything to everyone. “No” is a complete sentence, so say it without guilt but with clarity. I don’t need an extra responsibility to prove my strength.   I now understand my capacity, and I work accordingly. Experiencing the emotional burnout of being the strong one helped me recognise that  I needed to set healthy boundaries for my mental health.   You Don’t Have to Do It All I’m sure some of you, like me, believe being a strong woman means doing it all. Please stop! Your strength is not measured by how much you can take on at once.   Emotional burnout is real, and if not addressed, can lead to a lot of health issues. So if you are navigating the emotional burnout of being the strong one, you are not alone. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine, especially when they are not.   It’s time to pause. Say “no” without guilt. Accept the help. You deserve to rest, too.   💬 Let’s Talk About It Have you experienced—or are you still experiencing—the emotional burnout of being the strong one?   What are you doing to set healthy boundaries or find balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

We live in a noisy world that never stops talking. If it’s not your phone buzzing, it’s the emails demanding attention, group chats blowing up, and the never-ending notifications.    There’s always something or someone trying to get our attention.   One Friday evening, after the day’s task, I sat down not to rest but to breathe. It was in that moment that I realised I had lost myself. I wasn’t sure of who I was anymore.  Have I been merely existing?    I felt drained both physically and emotionally. I had a lot of uncompleted to-do lists, responsibilities I had taken on without giving a thought to, and the pressure to show up for everyone.   I realised that I was in everyone’s space, playing the helper and the hero at the same time. But deep inside, I needed to help myself. Then it hit me:  “Who are you?”   This one question peeled the layer I’d been afraid to confront. I was forced to pause and reflect on my essence. What do I really want out of life?What does peace mean to me?   The Turning Point I remember sitting on my bed, thinking of how to make dinner, laundry yet to be folded, and a long to-do list. In that instance, it dawned on me that I had given myself away, and I struggled to recognise who I was becoming. That was my turning point.   It became obvious that I didn’t just need peace but needed to live it. This I know will require me to quiet the noise.  So I took some radical steps. I turned off my phone and stepped back. I stopped scrolling, stopped responding, and stopped trying to do it all.   In the stillness, I began to hear myself again.Not the version of me that demands but the real me.The version of me that craved quiet mornings and the space to just be.   Creating Space for Peace One of the things I did that helped me was going for walks without my phone, just me and my thoughts. I created some hours of silence in my day without the TV on or tasks to do. Just silence, which I craved for. I started noticing a reconnection with myself again.  I could hear myself without the noise.   I rested without feeling guilty. These actions made me feel lighter, not because the world had suddenly become quiet but because I stopped letting it rule me.   A Reminder If you feel you’re losing yourself in the noise of life, it’s time to take a break. Ask yourself: What do I need right now? Your peace matters more than the noise. And sometimes, peace begins with simply switching off and listening in.   So today, choose you. Quiet the noise. Reclaim your peace. One small step at a time.   Let’s Reflect Have you been feeling stretched thin lately? Maybe this is your sign to step back and ask, “What do I need right now?” You might be surprised at the answer. Quiet the noise. Come home to yourself. And choose peace over and over again.