Self-Love & Healing

Growing through stress and anxiety is something many of us are still learning how to do. It’s been a mix of motherhood, chasing dreams, holding space for others, and trying not to lose myself. Stress and anxiety have a way of creeping in unannounced. There are days I feel like I am just trying to keep my head above water. But over time, I’ve learnt that while these feelings may be a part of life, there are mindful ways to grow through them with intention and grace.   1. Naming My Feelings: The First Step in Growing Through Stress and Anxiety In the past, I used to suppress my emotions like they didn’t matter, but lately, I have learnt to name how I feel. Part of growing through stress and anxiety means giving those feelings a name—be it tiredness or fear. I’ve found that when I acknowledge what I’m feeling inside of me, I take the first honest step toward healing.   2. Taking Mindful Breaks: Creating Space to Grow Through Stress and Anxiety I used to think rest was a luxury! But I’ve recently realised that growing through stress and anxiety means making room to pause. It could be taking a few deep breaths or a short walk. These small, intentional breaks help me reconnect with myself.   3. Setting Boundaries: Protecting My Peace  This one has been a game-changer for me. “I’ve learnt that saying ‘no’ isn’t selfish—it’s sacred. Through stress and anxiety, I’ve grown into someone who honours her limits, chooses rest over burnout, and protects her peace like treasure .” Boundaries give me room to breathe and be fully present.   4. Practicing Self-Kindness  It’s easy to be hard on ourselves when we feel we aren’t measuring up. But one thing that helps me in managing stress and anxiety is choosing kind words over criticism. I remind myself: I’m trying, I’m learning, and I’m allowed to rest.   5. Embracing My Season Comparison steals peace. True growth begins when you embrace your season and honour your journey. Even the smallest step forward becomes powerful when it’s taken with self-awareness and acceptance.   6. Exercise: Movement is my medicine. On days when stress feels overwhelming, I take a moment to stretch or step outside for a walk. These small acts of exercise aren’t just about staying active—they’re a reminder that growth through stress and anxiety isn’t only mental. It’s physical too. Exercising helps release tension, resets my mind, and grounds me in the present.   7. Creating Gentle Routines for Growing Through Stress and Anxiety I no longer rush into my mornings. Instead, I ease in—listening to inspiring podcasts, journaling, praying, or letting soft music play in the background. These simple rhythms help me stay grounded. Amidst the stress and anxiety, they’ve become quiet anchors, helping me grow, one mindful morning at a time.   Final Words on Growing Through Stress and Anxiety So take a deep breath. Release the need for perfection and embrace where you are. Growth is a journey, not a destination—it’s the quiet, daily steps forward, the moments of grace, and the soft understanding that you are where you need to be. You’re not behind; you’re simply becoming, evolving with every choice, every breath. And in this shared journey, know that you are never alone.   Take a moment today to acknowledge how far you’ve come. Be gentle with yourself and remember—you are becoming, and that is enough.

Finding peace in the middle of life’s storm didn’t make much sense to me until I started experiencing life in different phases.   Growing up, I often heard the phrase, “life is not a bed of roses”. I didn’t fully comprehend its meaning till I stepped into adulthood and saw my life unfolding in ways I never imagined. I began to understand that the challenges of life can come in different forms – family pressure, societal expectations, financial struggles, and even health-related issues.   I have walked through seasons of my life thinking I had all my plans figured out, like I knew the direction my life was going. Boom! Life happened; I saw my plans falling by the wayside. I will wake up in the middle of the night to cry and wish them away. I will pray and stay up in the night, seeking answers.   That phase of my life taught me stillness: how finding peace in the middle of life’s storm should be my goal.   Walking on Shaky Ground Have you ever experienced a moment when you feel the ground you walk on is shaky? Those are the moments of confusion. When the struggle seems like forever. That moment when we think we have done our best and have nothing to show for it. While waiting in silence for answers is the most difficult thing to do.    Those are the moments where we are building resilience and growing deep roots slowly and quietly.   Finding Peace in the Middle of Life’s Storm – Peace is Not Loud Peace often comes not in a loud, dramatic way but in a whisper. It is in that moment when we pause to reflect. Sometimes, you can find peace in the scripture speaking to you exactly where you are.   I am constantly reminding myself that peace doesn’t mean everything around me will make sense, but trusting in my process while learning to find rest.   In Mark 4:39, we learnt how God commanded the storm to be still when his disciples were scared. He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down, and it was completely calm. The passage demonstrates the power of finding peace in the middle of life’s storm.   Letting Go of What We Can’t Control It is often difficult to loosen our grip on what we assume is familiar and under our control. Finding peace in the middle of a life storm is teaching us to stop fighting the fog and walk through it, hand in hand with God.   We don’t need to know all the answers. It is okay not to be sure. It is equally okay to feel tired and cry sometimes. In all of this, I want you to know that you are not alone. You are being held even if you don’t see the hands.   We don’t need to be perfect; it is a myth to even think so. Let’s choose trust over our fears and whisper back to the storms: You won’t steal my peace.   Growing Strong Together In the midst of life’s struggles and confusion, never feel alone. Peace is a gift that we all have to embrace. Life will not always be a smooth ride, but peace is possible.   If you are going through a tough season in your life, be encouraged. Find peace even in the struggles and confusion of life. If for any reason today, you feel lost, pain in your heart, tiredness in your soul. Pause and remind yourself: peace, be still! Find joy in the simplest things around you. In your child’s laughter, in the hug of a loved one.   Finding Peace in the middle of life’s storm: Gentle Reminder Peace is closer than we think. It is found in the stillness of our hearts, away from the noise. Peace is found in total surrender to God.   We will find peace not by escaping the storm but by walking through it. Peace, be still.

We need to take a moment to pause and think about how our childhood affects how we see ourselves as adults today. The words spoken to us growing up, the love we felt—or didn’t feel—and even the silent expectations from our parents or caregivers can stay with us into adulthood.   Dr Gabor Maté, a well-known expert on emotional health, talks about how the emotional environment we grew up in shapes us in ways we might not always realise.   A Story That Might Sound Familiar Take Ada’s story, for example. As a child, she was often told not to cry or show too much emotion. Being “strong” meant keeping her feelings to herself. Even when she did well in school, no one clapped for her or said, “Well done.” She learnt to keep pushing, hoping that someday she would be noticed.   As an adult, Ada works hard, but deep down, she struggles with self-doubt. She tries to earn love and approval through her achievements—something she missed as a child. Does that sound familiar?   So many of us grew up in homes where physical needs were met—there was food, school, and a roof over our heads—but emotional needs were often ignored. No one taught us how to feel our feelings or talk about them.   Why Our Childhood Still Matters Whether we felt safe or constantly criticised—shapes how we see ourselves today. If love in your home came only when you were “good” or doing what others expected, you may now find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth. It’s no wonder many of us deal with people-pleasing, fear of failure, or perfectionism. We wear a mask, trying to be “enough” for others, often forgetting who we really are underneath.   But here’s the truth: we were never meant to earn love.   How your upbringing affects your self image – It is time to take off the mask Healing starts when we begin to see the connection between our past and our present. As Dr Gabor Maté says, “We must not confuse the behaviours we adopted to survive with who we are.”   You are not your coping mechanisms, nor are you the scared child still trying to win approval. You are a strong, beautiful soul who deserves love, kindness, and rest. And one of the most powerful steps you can take is simply becoming aware.   As we say in Nigeria, “He who does not know where he is coming from will not know where he is going.” When you understand how your past shaped you, you’re better equipped to shape your future.   Let’s talk about how your upbringing affects your self-image Have you ever thought about how your upbringing shaped the way you see yourself today? I’d really love to hear your story. Drop a comment—let’s talk about it.   Remember, you’re not alone. And your healing matters. Let’s grow together, one gentle step at a time.

Evolving beyond comparison on social media is not just possible; it’s necessary. These days, social media is everywhere, right? It’s how we connect, share, and sometimes even define ourselves. However, let’s be real: Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook can often feel like a constant comparison game. As we scroll through our feeds, we see images of people with seemingly perfect lives, beautiful photos, and achievements that, at first glance, make us wonder if we’re doing enough. But here’s the thing—evolving beyond comparison on social media is about recognising that those curated images often don’t tell the full story. Before we know it, we get caught up in the comparison trap.   But here’s the thing: if you’re tired of measuring your self-worth by the number of likes, comments, or followers you have, this post is for you. Let’s explore how to break free from comparison and create a more positive, authentic experience online.   1. Shift Your Mindset: See the Bigger Picture First, evolving beyond comparison on social media starts with your mindset. Social media can be a great tool for connection, but it’s all about how you use it. Instead of comparing yourself to others, start focusing on your growth.   A growth mindset means believing there’s room for everyone to succeed, including you. Just because someone else is achieving something doesn’t mean it takes away from what you can achieve.   How to make this shift: Change how you view others’ success: See it as inspiration, not competition. Embrace the fact that everyone’s journey is unique, and that’s perfectly okay. Celebrate even the smallest wins in your life—they matter! When you adopt this mindset, evolving becomes an empowering journey of self-discovery and progress.   2. Take Control of Your Feed Next, remember that you have complete control over what you see on social media. If certain accounts leave you feeling less than or unworthy, unfollow them. It’s really that simple! Curating your feed to include accounts that inspire you and promote authenticity will make a huge difference in how you feel each time you open the app.   Action steps: Follow people who lift you and encourage growth, authenticity, and self-love. Don’t be afraid to unfollow or mute accounts that trigger negative feelings. Focus on content that makes you feel empowered and positive. By intentionally curating your feed, evolving beyond comparison becomes a daily practice that supports your mental wellbeing.   3. Set Boundaries for Your Mental Health Let’s be honest: spending too much time on social media can easily pull us into the comparison trap. Therefore, setting clear boundaries around your time online is essential. Without clear boundaries, you can easily fall into a cycle of endless scrolling, constant comparison, and growing feelings of inadequacy.   Here’s how to create healthy boundaries: Limit your screen time by setting daily usage goals. Use apps or phone settings to help you track and limit your time on social media. Turn off notifications so you’re not constantly pulled into checking your phone.   4. Celebrate Your Progress — Big and Small Often, we get so caught up in comparing ourselves to others that we forget to celebrate our progress. The truth is, every step forward, no matter how small, deserves to be celebrated. Rather than waiting for big achievements, recognise the daily wins that build your confidence.   What to do: Acknowledge every win, whether it’s waking up early or achieving a major goal. Share your milestones with people who genuinely support you. Stop comparing your journey to others—your story is uniquely yours. Ultimately, when you celebrate yourself, evolving beyond comparison feels more natural, and you’ll begin to truly appreciate how far you’ve come   5. Remember: Social Media Is Not the Full Picture It’s important to remember that social media is just a highlight reel. What you see on your feed isn’t the full story.  Most people only share their best moments, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t facing struggles behind the scenes. Remembering this helps you avoid the trap of thinking everyone else has it all “together” while you don’t.   How to approach it: Recognise that what you see online is often only a small part of someone’s bigger journey. Don’t let someone else’s “perfect” feed make you feel less. Focus on your growth instead of comparing it to others. By stepping back and gaining perspective, you’ll stay on track with evolving beyond comparison in a healthy, sustainable way.   6. Take Regular Breaks from Social Media Sometimes, taking a step back, even for a while, can help you reset and refocus on what truly matters.   Here’s how to take a break: Unplug for a few hours or even a full day. Use that time for offline activities that refresh your soul—reading, journaling, walking, or spending time with loved ones. Return to social media only when you feel grounded and ready. Ultimately, taking breaks from social media strengthens your mental clarity and reminds you that your life offline is where real fulfilment happens.   7. Practice Gratitude Daily Finally, one of the most powerful ways to evolve beyond comparison on social media is to practise gratitude. By focusing on what you have rather than what you lack, you make it much easier to value and appreciate your unique journey.   Gratitude practice tips: Start a gratitude journal and write three things you’re thankful for daily. Reflect on your personal growth and how far you’ve already come. Appreciate the small, beautiful moments that often go unnoticed. In the end, gratitude changes your outlook, making it easier to live authentically and evolve beyond comparison in every area of your life.   In Summary Evolving beyond comparison on social media is all about being intentional with your online experiences. It’s about taking charge of your mindset, curating a positive feed, setting healthy boundaries, celebrating your journey, and focusing on what truly matters. Remember: you are on your unique path, and that’s enough. Social media doesn’t define your worth—you do.

Forgiveness As a Tool for Inner Peace I used to think that forgiveness was something you gave to someone else—a way to excuse their wrong, a pardon they didn’t deserve. But that belief held me captive until I began to understand the true power of forgiveness for inner peace.   I clung to a grudge that quietly gnawed at me for years. The betrayal was deep, and it came from someone I trusted. On the outside, I told myself I had moved on. But inside, I carried the weight like a secret I couldn’t release.   I smiled, I laughed, and I even achieved success in other areas of my life. But one thought, one sudden memory, could pull me back into that place of hurt and anger. I convinced myself it was safer to hold on to the pain—that letting go would make me look weak. I assumed forgiveness meant saying, “It’s okay,” when it wasn’t.   But here’s the truth that changed everything: Forgiveness is not approval. Forgiveness is freedom. And it’s the most powerful tool I’ve found for inner peace.   The Turning Point It didn’t come in a big, dramatic moment. It came quietly—during a morning of journaling.   I was pouring out scattered thoughts when a sentence came out of nowhere: “You don’t need them to say sorry to heal.” I froze. Tears followed. I had been waiting for an apology, for something to make the pain feel justified. But that moment helped me realise something life-changing: healing doesn’t always come from others. It starts with us!   Why Forgiveness Heals You When we hold onto resentment, we give our power away. Forgiveness for inner peace doesn’t mean erasing the past—it means choosing to rewrite your present. It’s reclaiming the emotional energy that bitterness and anger have been draining.   Forgiving someone doesn’t mean reopening wounds or inviting them back into your life. It means you’re ready to stop letting the pain write your story. You are choosing to live beyond the hurt.   And when I finally made that decision—quietly, with no dramatic announcement—it felt like I could breathe again. After years of holding my breath, I finally exhaled.   A Gentle Invitation If you are reading this and carrying your pain, I want you to know this: inner peace is possible!   Letting go of hurt sets you free! Choosing forgiveness for inner peace isn’t just a gift you give to someone else. It’s a powerful, radical act of self-love. Say to yourself, “I deserve peace more than I deserve this pain.” You don’t have to wait for an apology, nor do you need anyone’s permission to heal. You can begin your journey back to yourself today.    Final Thoughts Forgiveness is not always easy. It can be messy, emotional, and deeply personal. But it’s also one of the most powerful tools for emotional healing and the most direct path to lasting inner peace.   We forgive not because the past didn’t hurt but because we are ready to stop letting it hold us hostage. You deserve peace. And it starts within.

Let’s be honest: boundaries begin with self-love. Are you tired? Tired of being everything to everyone—of saying yes when your soul whispers no, of holding your breath to keep the peace. Deep down, you know something has to change. And it starts here—with the truth that boundaries begin with self-love.   Boundaries begin with self-love – Why People-Pleasing Doesn’t Show You are “Nice” On the surface, people-pleasing looks like compassion. But in reality, it is often rooted in fear of rejection, of being seen as selfish, and fear of not being liked. You give so much, not always out of love, but out of habit. And over time, you begin to disappear in the name of “being nice”. Here’s the truth: when your actions come at the cost of your peace, they’re no longer kindness—they are self-abandonment. And reclaiming your life begins by embracing this truth.   What Happens When You Don’t Set Boundaries Living without boundaries doesn’t make life easier—it makes it heavier. You may find yourself: Saying yes when you are overwhelmed. Apologising for things that aren’t your fault. Avoiding conflict at the expense of your truth. Feeling unseen, unappreciated, and emotionally drained. The cost? Your joy, your confidence, your sense of self. And no relationship is worth that. You deserve a life where your needs are not just heard but honoured. And to create that life, remember: boundaries begin with self-love. When I First Learned to Say No, I remember the first time I said “no” and meant it. It wasn’t dramatic. I just had a quiet refusal to overcommit when I was already stretched thin. My heart raced, my palms sweaty, but I felt… light afterward. That moment taught me that choosing myself didn’t make me selfish—it made me whole. Sometimes the most powerful shift begins with the smallest word.   How to Stop People-Pleasing and Set Boundaries — One Step at a Time It is not easy to unlearn what has been your norm. But it is possible. Here is how you begin: 1. Recognize the Pattern  Ask yourself, why do I feel responsible for everyone’s happiness? Awareness is the first step to freedom—and a reminder that boundaries begin with self-love, not guilt.   2. Give yourself permission You are permitted to say no. To pause. To choose you. You don’t need to explain your boundaries to everyone. You only need to believe you’re worth protecting.   3. Speak kindly but firmly. “That doesn’t work for me.” “I’m not available for that.” There are simple ways to honour your limits while staying respectful.   4. Expect some pushback  Not everyone will applaud the new you and that’s okay. Remember: their discomfort is not your responsibility. Keep going. You’re not being unkind—you’re finally being honest.   5. Start small, stay consistent  You don’t have to transform overnight. Choose one area of your life and set a loving boundary. Each time you do, you reinforce the belief that boundaries begin with self-love.   Final Thoughts  You are not here to be everything for everyone but here to live, breathe, and grow. This starts with choosing yourself. So the next time you feel that urge to overextend, pause. Ask yourself, “What would self-love look like right now?”  Let the answer guide you. In the end, peace doesn’t come from pleasing others. It comes from knowing that boundaries begin with self-love, and you are worthy of both.   Your Turn What’s one boundary you’re choosing today? Share it below or write it yourself—because boundaries begin with self-love. 💚

Healing from childhood wounds doesn’t always look like pain—it hides in silence, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and the fear of rejection. These wounds don’t bleed but echo through the quiet behaviours we have learned to survive. Often, they live in how we shrink under pressure or avoid our reflection, subtle signs of pain we carry deep within. These are the invisible scars left by childhood experiences we may not even remember—but our nervous system does. Healing from childhood wounds begins when we acknowledge these patterns and gently explore their roots, choosing to show ourselves the love and care we may have once lacked. The Unseen Burden You don’t have to recall every detail to know you carry something. Maybe you were raised in a home where love was conditional on grades, behaviour, or obedience. Or you felt invisible, too loud, or sensitive. What mattered most wasn’t what happened but how it made you feel. Lonely. Unworthy. Unsafe. According to Dr Gabor Maté, trauma isn’t just what happens to you—it’s what happens inside you. Healing starts when we finally give voice to our silenced truths. The Journey of Reparenting Healing from childhood wounds doesn’t mean blaming our parents or reliving the past endlessly. It means becoming the parent we needed. It means saying to that inner child, “I see you. You were never too much. You were just enough.” In Leigh W. Hart’s words, healing is a gentle rebellion, a quiet return to ourselves. It is the soft but steady act of choosing ourselves daily. Reparenting looks like: Setting boundaries without guilt. Allowing yourself to rest without shame. Holding space for your emotions without judgement. Learning to say no without fear of abandonment. These aren’t just acts of self-care; they are acts of emotional healing from childhood wounds. Understanding the Inner Child Inside every adult lives a child who once felt powerless. That child still cries out for comfort, not loudly, but through our habits, triggers, fears, emotional outbursts, anxious attachment, people-pleasing… These aren’t flaws. They are unhealed parts of us trying to feel safe. Gabor Maté reminds us that most dysfunction is rooted in unmet developmental needs. Children require unconditional love, presence, and emotional attunement—not perfection. When these needs are unmet, we adapt by suppressing our true selves just to belong. The cost is a disconnection from who we truly are. Here is the good news: You can meet those needs now. You can reparent that inner child with the love, safety, and validation you never received. Daily Practices To Reparenting Yourself Self-Validation When the voice in your head says, “You are too sensitive,” respond with, “Your feelings are valid. Sensitivity is strength.” Safe Boundaries When you feel overwhelmed by demands, allow yourself to say “No”—not as rejection, but as protection. Emotional Check-Ins Pause and ask: What do I need right now? A hug? A nap? A walk? Kind words?  Speak With Compassion Stop bullying yourself with shame. Instead, say: “I’m doing the best I can. And that is enough.” From Surviving to Thriving You may not have chosen your childhood, but you can decide your healing. You don’t have to abandon yourself any longer. Indeed, it is challenging. Some days, you may feel progress, while other days might seem like a setback. But every moment you show up for yourself—every kind thought, every healthy choice, every boundary—is a win! You Are Becoming Whole If your childhood left you feeling small, unworthy, or invisible, let me say this with all the love I can type into words: You deserve to be whole! Not because you earned it or proved it, but because you exist. Healing from childhood wounds is not a race. It is a reclamation, and that is the heart of healing. Reflection Prompt (for Your Journal) Take a quiet moment and reflect: if I could speak to my younger self right now, what would I say? Would you apologize for not protecting them or hold them tightly? Would you say, “You were never too much; you were just a child who needed love?” Write it out. Speak it aloud. Make it real. Final Words You are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you for needing time, space, or tenderness. Your story may have begun in pain, but healing means you get to write the next chapter with your pen, guided by self-love and supported by truth. This journey of healing from childhood wounds is not a straight line. But every step you take toward yourself is a victory! Take a deep breath and reclaim your power. If this message resonates with you, know that you are not alone. Healing is a journey, and it’s one that we don’t have to undertake alone.