For years, I believed fear was my problem.
I would ask myself, What if I fail? What if this isn’t my area of strength? I would make all kinds of excuses to convince myself not to try.
Then came a moment that I won’t forget.
I was offered a new role at work. An opportunity anyone would be excited to have. But instead, I panicked. I wondered why me? Was I set up to fail? I declined the position out of fear, telling myself I wasn’t qualified.
That experience shook me.
It got me thinking…
For the first time, I asked myself: Was fear the problem—or was I just thinking the wrong way? Looking back now, I regret missing that opportunity, but I’ve learned from it. And I know better now.
The Mindset Shift
Missing that opportunity made me realize I needed to work on my mindset. I can’t keep missing out on opportunities due to my limiting beliefs. While my boss saw potential in me, I didn’t see it in myself.
Fear Wasn’t the Problem—My Mindset Was
I didn’t realize all the while that I had spent so much time fearing failure that I never stopped to ask:
Are these fears rooted in truth—or just beliefs I’ve repeated too often?
How I Work on My Mindset (Step by Step)
1. I Consume Mindset-Shifting Content
Books have been my anchor on this journey, and one I would recommend is “Mindset” by Carol Dweck. It changed something in me.
I also listen to podcasts, webinars, and teachings that help me think differently.
I have stopped seeing fear as a stop sign. Now, I acknowledge it as an opportunity for growth.
2. I Am Replacing Negative Self-Talk With Positive Beliefs
Each time the thought comes:
“I’m not ready,” I quietly replace it with “I’ll figure it out as I go.”
“What if I fail?” I tell myself, “What if I succeed?”
These shifts may be small, but they make a huge difference.
3. I Have Started Taking Action—Even While Still Scared
I’ve stopped waiting for perfect conditions. I show up anyway. I embrace the “act first, confidence follows” approach.
And guess what? The more I pushed through fear, the smaller it became.
The Biggest Lesson I Learned
Fear won’t disappear—but its power over you can.
The difference between the old me (who avoided risks) and the current me (who takes them despite fear) comes down to one thing:
I don’t let fear make decisions for me anymore. Even when the voice whispers, “What if you fail?” I answer back:
“Then I’ll learn. And I’ll try again.”
Final Thought: Is Fear Holding You Back
If you’re stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, ask yourself:
Are you truly not capable?
Or have you been convinced that you’re not?
The answer might change everything.
Because the right mindset doesn’t erase fear—it gives you the courage to move forward.
5 thoughts on “I Thought Fear Was the Problem—Until I Changed My Mindset”
Thanks for sharing…. Fear is always on the other side of success ..
Absolutely, well said Amaechi.
Starting to Exercise
“I’m scared to go to the gym. People will judge me. I’ll look out of place.”
So I avoided going, and I was not feeling my health improve, I wasn’t getting getting my body back.
I Changed mindset oh
“Everyone starts somewhere. My health matters more than people’s opinions. I take small steps and grow over time.”
I have started with simple home workouts or short walks. Confidence builds.
Fear didn’t stop me—my belief that fear meant “don’t try” did. Once you re-framed it as part of the journey, you make progress.
Also In school, I was afraid to try again because I was giving a bad grade, I failed last time, so I must not be smart. So I avoid asking for help or retaking the test.
“Failing means I didn’t understand yet. Fear is normal—but learning from it can make me stronger and better.
Fear don’t mean you are bad—it meant you had room to grow. Changing how you see fear changed your results.
Thank you for sharing this, Charity… sending you hugs.
Truly, our mindset has a way of making us believe we can’t — being aware of that is key.
Failure is not the end, but a part of the growth process.
I really appreciate your vulnerability.
Thank you Ma, This is Incredibly inspiring—thank you for sharing your journey. It’s a powerful reminder that real growth comes from facing our fears. Grateful to learn from your strength and leadership.”such a powerful story. It takes real strength to not only face fear head-on, but to be so open about the journey. Your courage and vulnerability are truly inspiring.