There’s a quiet truth many of us are still coming to terms with:
Many adults are struggling today because they grew up without direction, guidance, or consistent mentorship.
This isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness.
Children are not meant to figure life out on their own. They are meant to be guided by parents, teachers, mentors, and other significant adults. There’s a popular saying in Nigeria: “It takes a village to raise a child.”
But here’s the uncomfortable question:
Does that village still exist?
Every Child Needs a Model
Every child needs someone to look up to. Someone whose life quietly answers questions before they are even asked.
Children don’t learn values from lectures alone—they learn from what they see lived out daily. They observe our reactions to pressure, our emotional management, how we communicate with others, and our handling of failure. They are paying attention, even when we think they are not.
The Role of Parents in a Child’s Life
Parents are a child’s first teachers.
Before school. Before society. Before social media.
Children follow what we do far more than what we say. Our actions, especially the ones no one applauds, shape their understanding of life, relationships, discipline, and self-worth.
Some important questions we need to ask ourselves:
- What kind of discipline are we modeling?
- What words are we constantly speaking to our children?
- How do we help them process disappointment, anger, or fear?
- Do they see us manage our emotions in healthy ways?
Children are like sponges. They absorb everything—tone, habits, reactions, values. Parenting doesn’t require perfection, but it does require intentionality.
We may not get everything right, but we owe our children our best effort.
How Lack of Direction Affects Children
Many of the challenges we see in society today didn’t start overnight.
A lot of young people are exposed early to drugs, harmful behaviors, and destructive choices, not always because they want to rebel, but because no one showed them a better path.
Hard work, patience, and character development are gradually eroding and are slowly being replaced by a culture of instant gratification. The loudest voices today often promote shortcuts over substance.
When guidance is missing, confusion fills the gap.
The Effect We See in Adults Today
This lack of direction doesn’t disappear with age; it simply shows up differently.
Many adults struggle with:
- Identity confusion
- Low self-esteem
- Poor financial habits
- Career dissatisfaction
- People-pleasing and unhealthy validation seeking
When you grow up without healthy guidance, you often spend adulthood trying to unlearn survival patterns that once helped you cope.
This is not a weakness.
It’s an unfinished development.
Mentorship, Not Judgment
This conversation isn’t about pointing fingers. It’s about recognizing patterns and choosing to respond differently.
Leadership—whether in parenting, teaching, coaching, or mentoring requires modeling the life we want others to live. Integrity, consistency, and sincerity matter more than perfect words.
Many children don’t need more criticism.
They need someone who believes in them, listens to them, and walks with them.
A Collective Responsibility
We may not have everything figured out ourselves, and that’s okay. Growth is ongoing.
But your presence, guidance, and willingness to mentor just one person could change the trajectory of a life.
That contribution might:
- Save a talent
- Restore hope
- Prevent destruction
- Build a healthier future
Healing doesn’t always start with systems.
Sometimes, it starts with one intentional relationship.
A Gentle Call to Action
Today, I encourage you to pick one person—just one who you can guide, support, or mentor.
You don’t have to have all the answers.
You just need a willing heart.
Our families, our society, and our world will be better for it.
Keep evolving.
Because when we grow, others grow too.
— Evolving With Cheta
EvolvingWithCheta.com