What Adulthood Is Teaching Us About Needing One Another

Adulthood isn’t for the faint-hearted. This may sound funny, but it is true.

There is so much about adulthood that many of us were not really prepared for. The responsibilities, the decisions, the disappointments, and sometimes, the uncertainty of not knowing whether we are doing the right thing.

I was having a conversation with a friend some days ago about adulthood. We joked about it, laughed about some of the challenges we are facing, and at some point, we both said:

“Nobody prepared us for this.”

As funny as it sounded, it got me thinking.

Life comes with challenges that many of us are still learning to navigate daily. Career decisions. Relationships. Losing people we love. Financial responsibilities. Making difficult choices. Trying to figure out what we want from life while also dealing with everything life throws at us.

Reflecting on how we grew up can make us realize just how much we were protected from when we were younger.

Growing up, life seemed much simpler. There were fewer decisions to make and fewer things to worry about.

Then adulthood happened.

And suddenly, you are expected to know what you are doing. Even when you don’t.

Why We Need Someone

One thing I have come to appreciate more as I grow older is the importance of having someone in your corner.

Not someone who has all the answers.

Not someone who makes you feel like your struggles are insignificant.

But someone you can talk to.

Someone you can share your thoughts with without worrying about being judged.

Someone who can listen when you don’t necessarily need advice.

I remember having this kind of conversation with someone who was going through a particularly difficult season. From the outside, everything seemed fine. He was going about his daily life, showing up, laughing, and doing everything he would normally do. But underneath all of that, he was struggling.

This made me understand that many times, we don’t really know what people are carrying. Someone can look completely fine and still be trying to figure out how to hold everything together.

And sometimes, all it takes is a simple:

“How are you really doing?” to remind them they don’t have to pretend everything is okay.

Many Are Still Figuring It Out

The older we get, the more we realize that most of us are still figuring things out as we go.

Some people know how to hide their struggles better.

We don’t know what decision to make or whether we are on the right career path.

We struggle with handling a relationship.

We don’t know how to deal with the loss of a loved one.  

And sometimes, we may not know what we are doing next.

I think we need to learn how to be more comfortable admitting that.

There is no shame in “asking for help.”

There is no shame in admitting that you are having a difficult time.

Maybe adulthood would become a little easier when we stop pretending that we are supposed to have everything figured out.

Be Someone’s Safe Place

Maybe this is one of the things we can do better as people.

Be more present.

Check on the people we love.

Listen a little longer.

Ask questions without immediately judging the answers.

Give people room to be honest about what they are going through.

And most importantly, let the people around us know that they don’t always have to be strong.

I have realised that sometimes, people don’t need us to fix their problems.

They just need to know that they don’t have to face them alone.

Adulthood may not come with a manual.

We will make mistakes. We will make difficult decisions. We will have seasons where we feel lost, overwhelmed, or uncertain about what comes next.

But maybe, having the right people around us will make the journey a little lighter.

Gentle Reminder

In a world where so many people are quietly trying to figure things out, being that person for someone else is one of the most meaningful things we can do.

You can also read: When Silence Doesn’t Mean “Leave Me Alone”